Family Time

Bob and I took the kids up to my mom and dad's today for a visit. I used to take the kids up to their house all of the time when they were little. Bob worked second shift back then, so I found myself trying to kill time by heading up there. I always had such fun, and looking back now I am so grateful for those memories. I don't head up there quite so much anymore mostly because the kids are now in school and Bob is not working second shift anymore, but I find myself enjoying my time up there just as much now as I did back when the kids were much younger. My parents live in a small Northeastern Ohio town, and I find it to be a safe place for the kids to visit. The pace seems a bit slower there than where we live, and I like that laid back environment. The kids always enjoy themselves when they are there even if they make a small fuss before we leave about leaving their lives here for the day to go up there.

We were looking at picture albums after dinner of when my three oldest kids were babies. It made me sad because I do not really remember those times. Part of the reason I think is because I had a new baby every 2 years for a while. Another reason though, is because I don't think I was paying enough attention to my life. I was constantly thinking about yesterday and tomorrow, and not taking enough time to savor the day as I was living it. I try very hard not to live my life with regret because I believe that everything does happen for a reason, but I do wish that I had done things differently with them. That I had paid more attention to them as people, and not just as a collective group of beings that needed to be fed, changed, entertained, etc...I guess the only thing that I can do now is to start (which I have done) paying attention to being in the moment with them as each moment comes. Another effect that the baby picture books had was solidifying my wanting to have more children. I have been thinking about it for about a year, and have decided that this is something that I would really like to do. There are two obstacles to this goal of mine - one is that my husband is not on board and would need some convincing. The second is that after the birth of my 4th child I had a tubal ligation, and I would need to go through the process to having that reversed (if that is even medically possible for me). I feel in my gut like I can overcome both of those obstacles, but it will take some time. I am going to just enjoy the summer with my children, and once all 4 of them head back to school in the fall I am going to schedule an appointment with a clinic that performs tubal reversals locally to see if my body is eligible for this procedure. If it is meant to be, it will be. All I can do is to take one day at a time.