Sarah came home at the end of last week after completing her freshman year at the University of North Carolina - Greensboro. She will be home for the next (almost) four months on summer break. To say that her freshman year was a doozey - would be a huge understatement.
Sarah began the year with a roommate that was unlike anyone I hope to ever come across again. Her roommate's parents had both served prison time, her dad was a drug dealer, her mother was a drug user, she was raised by a grandmother, but saw her parents in between prison stints. Her roommate entered college about 12 weeks pregnant and was a habitual pot smoker all throughout her pregnancy on top of regularly consuming alcohol. She talked on the phone at all hours of the night and watched tv shows as well - all without headphones - even when some were purchased for her. She was continually looking for "a man" to take care of her as her baby daddy (who was significantly older than her) left her once he found out she was pregnant. Sarah knew all about her sex life as she did not use headphones (as mentioned above) ever, and also knew about the prolific number of men involved in her roommate's life.
To say that Sarah's roommate was a piece of work would be a major understatement. Sarah went to the housing department multiple times (and I reached out to them as well multiple times). The solution was for Sarah to hold tight until the second semester when she would have her own room. I don't know how, but Sarah made it, and the second semester was a much quieter, calmer semester. She was able to keep the room that she and her roommate shared since that was what she was familiar with and could navigate the campus easiest from.
Sarah entered UNCG in the fall of 2023 as one of a select, small group of students who qualified for the school's honors program. Her course of study is psychology (although as many of us do, she is most likely going to change it to recreational counseling - or something like that) and she plans on immediately pursuing a master's degree upon receiving her bachelor's degree.
Academically, Sarah did phenomenal. She made the Dean's List both semesters - which was an amazing feat as a good number of her teachers did not make the time or know how to create content so that Sarah could learn. The school's office of disability is awful. They are absolutely no help at all and are a running joke among the campus students who rely on the office of disability to help the students get equal footing with their learning - despite their disabilities. (It seems the diversity and acceptance the school touted during tours and admissions applies to everyone except the disabled.)
Besides managing to get great grades with only partial support from the university, the biggest and best accomplishment Sarah achieved this year (in my opinion anyway) is Sarah's ability to live on her own. Sarah navigated the campus like a champ. She was able to live independently as a fully functioning adult doing all of the things (housekeeping, laundry, cooking, etc...) that your normal able-bodied person does when she lives alone. She proved to herself that she could do it. And she did. Now she knows that she can live alone and be successful at it despite having no vision.
Sarah was able to make a few friends which I am thankful for. It is amazing how we (able-bodied people) shy away from disabled people, and how little effort we make to get to know those who are different from ourselves. Being blind, it is hard to "see" who is around you to be able to strike up conversations with - like you or I might do. Which means that Sarah requires others to speak to her first a good deal of the time (not 100%, but a lot). It was disappointing for me to hear from her how few people (as in very, very few) were willing to do this. Sarah is such an amazing young woman. It is heartbreaking for me to know that so many people will miss out on knowing her because she is blind, and they are too afraid, prejudiced, ableist, etc... to reach out and make the first step in getting to know her.
I am proud of Sarah. The bullshit that she had to navigate a lot of the time trying to get herself equal access to an education that able-bodied people automatically get was a lot for anyone to try and deal with, let alone an 18-year-old. Often, I would offer to step in and help her handle some of these stressful situations and she would tell me that she wanted to handle it on her own. There were days when she was ready to give up, but she didn't. She persevered - which we (her family) always knew she could. This coupled with her roommate situation first semester while also learning to be in an unfamiliar environment without the support of home being 'right there' (we were an hour and 45 minutes away) would have crushed a weaker person. But she did it.
I am glad to have her home, but I am even more glad that she went away, so that she could learn what we have known all along - that she can do anything she sets her mind to.
