I find often, but more so lately, that my mind is a complex web of thoughts constantly zig zagging from one thread to another. Never resting, never really sitting and being with just one thought, but rather zooming around to make sure that each thought is quickly heard only to pass right by it onto the next. That is a tiring life for not only myself but for those around me as well. I have noticed in the last several months that I will be having a conversation with my kids or with Bob, and minutes later I will forget that we even had a conversation! It was getting so bad that I seriously thought I was beginning to lose my mind. I started to panic that maybe I had an extremely early case of dementia, and I was really, really frightened. I didn't dare mention anything to Bob about it until yesterday because I was so embarrassed about the situation, but the more I chastised myself the more I seemed to forget things. It wasn't just conversations either. It was going to get something, and then getting to where said item is located at and not remembering why I was there. It was forgetting simple things like where I placed my cell phone or the car keys that I just had moments earlier. Finally, I mentioned something to Bob about it, and his response made me feel much better. He told me that I have too much on my mind and on my plate. A million things on the do-to-list, but not enough focus or time to do them. Instead of paring down my to do list I just keep adding things which makes me mentally exhausted, and unable to focus on any of the tasks at hand.
My new goal now is to simplify my 'to do' list. I am sending out my 'thank you' cards today to Sarah's Team Hope contributors. This has been weighing on my heart so heavily, trying to get them all done, and to make sure that I got everyone. I know that once this is off of my chest I will feel so much better. There are some other things racing through my mind and on my list that I just need to stop the thought as it speeds by, complete the item, and then address the next issue that is rattling around in my brain. Overwhelmed. I think that is a good word. I am overwhelmed right now. Overwhelmed and bogged down with unnecessary stuff.
All of these thoughts are keeping me (because I am allowing them to) from being present in my life and with my family. That is not good, and defeats so many of the purposes and values I am trying to create in our family. I need to quit it.
So, the next area of my life that I need to simplify is my thoughts. This will take some hard work and dedication, but I am certain that I can accomplish this goal.I have no idea where to begin, but I am certain that I can find my way. I always have before. Let's just hope there aren't too many bumps in this road...
"People say "I want peace." If you remove I (ego), and your want (desire), you are left with peace."
- Satya Sai Baba
"Voluntary simplicity means going fewer places in one day rather than more, seeing less so I can see more, doing less so I can do more, acquiring less so I can have more."
- John Kabat-Zinn
"You can't force simplicity; but you can invite it in by finding as much richness as possible in the few things at hand. Simplicity doesn't mean meagerness but rather a certain kind of richness, the fullness that appears when we stop stuffing the world with things."
- Thomas Moore, The Re-Enchantment of Everyday Life
"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication."
- Leonardo da Vinci
(All quotes from: Here.)
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