For The Love of My Family

We are getting sicker and sicker as a nation. We are also getting fatter and fatter. It should be no coincidence that these two items go hand in hand. As I look around I see hospitals adding new wings onto their existing buildings. I see doctors expanding their offices. I see new physical therapy centers, cancer centers, cardiovascular offices all opening up. I see pharmaceutical companies pumping new commercials out all of the time about this new drug and that new drug whose side affects may kill you, but hey! at least you won't have reflux when you die.

And what do we do as a nation? What do I do as a mother, wife, and human being? Absolutely nothing. I do not question the status quo I just continue to pick up my $5 Hot-N-Ready pizza from the local Little Caesars when the night is too busy for me to cook. I pretend to get serious about our diet by investing a lot of time into the subject for a week or two, and then when I realize the amount of change it would require to make things right I abandon ship. I allow myself to be bamboozled by the food companies with their advertising campaigns on TV or in magazines that tell me that their box of processed crap is the way to go because I am too busy to cook my own food. I buy the "organic" label whenever I can, but do I really know anything about it except that the government slapped that label on the food. (And, of course, it has been proven time and time again that my government is so trustworthy because, of course, they have my best interests at heart. They would never allow themselves to be swayed by, say, money to promote a certain product or say that an item was organic when indeed was not.) And so I blindly walk into a grocery store and pay an exorbitant amount of money for food that I am trusting my government to make sure is really what the product says it is. Or I blindly buy a box on a shelf because the labeling on the box tells me it is healthy, and the label has to tell the whole story, doesn't it?

There could be many factors as to why we are getting sicker as  nation. Perhaps there is something in the air, or water, or in the chemicals we spray on our furniture to keep them stain resistant. I believe, as do many of you, that all of those things contribute to our sickness, but the main culprit is: FOOD.





I am not a doctor or a scientist. I am a mom and wife and a woman with a vested interest in the health of not only myself, but of these four beautiful beings that call me their mom. Because food = big money there are very few sources I can trust for information on food. Even book authors are suspect because you never know who they really could be working for. My government and food corporations as well as the medical community expects me to blindly follow them and to trust that they all have my best interests at heart. To believe that none of these entities would ever do anything counter to my best interests just to make a buck.

I am D-O-N-E. Fed up. Angry.  Here is why:

1.) Our family has been eating like garbage lately. Sarah has never felt worse. Coincidence? I think not.
2.) You all heard about Chipotle causing food poisoning in some of its patrons, right? Well, did you happen to come across this article that said that maybe a Biotech firm caused this to happen because of the company's stance on GMO products? Now...I completely understand that there are articles out there claiming that this blogger is a nut job and that this article is no way true and that this guy is just a tree hugger, etc..and those writers may be right. BUT it wouldn't surprise me at all if it was true. I do not think a biotech firm would stop at anything to keep themselves profitable and in business. As the anti-GMO movement is growing I do think that these companies are beginning to panic a bit about their bottom lines eventually taking a hit. After all, if they weren't worried about it why would they block our right to know what foods are made with GMO's as states try to pass right to know laws? And if their bottom line wasn't taking a bit of a hit why is Monsanto airing commercials about "being part of the conversation" in their "food is love" campaign? (According to The Guardian Monsanto's earnings fell 34% in the first quarter of 2015 due to global issues with their products.)


Anyway, I digress...

I love my family. I love my kids with every single cell in my being. As many parents would, I would die for my kids in heart beat. No questions asked. No thought taken. I would just do it. But what if I am killing them by my own ignorance and lack of motivation in doing my due diligence into what we are fueling our bodies with?

Because after all, the main point in eating is to fuel our bodies. I am not sure what good chip dip and Doritos are doing to help fuel the kids bodies. Or Ramen noodles or Stouffer's mac-n-cheese either. Those foods taste good, don't get me wrong, but they are designed to be addictive because it is crap food.

So, what I am going to do about it?  I am going to research the hell out of every possible solution that I can. I am going to make my family healthy. I am going to give them the tools to be able to tell the big food and drink companies to piss off. All of this may back fire on me. I am completely aware of this because the food companies are powerful. They want me to fail at feeding my children well. They want me to fail at teaching them why and how they should eat what they eat. They will come up with fancy commercials and they will make formulas to make their food even more addictive. They will tell my children that restrictive diets are meant to fail. And they may win some of my children back. The reality is I have no power over my children or their choices. They have free will to choose however they would like to, but for the love of my family the least I can do is give them that choice instead of blindly allowing our family to just assume that all of those companies have our best interests at heart - which is what we essentially do when we buy their products.

I plan on reading books about several diets (that aren't really diets in the sense that you and I think in terms of losing weight). I have chosen to research the Paleo diet, Mediterranian diet, Gluten Free diet,  & Vegan diet. I will be researching gut health. I will be looking into alkalinity and acidity in our bodies.



I am not going to make changes overnight. I have done that before and it was hard on my kids. Plus, I am not sure what foods I think will be the best for us to eat. I am going to take notes on each of the books I read and make educated choices based on the research I do online and the books I read. This change is going to be a long and hard process. I will mistakes along the way. I will change things along the way, but I will be moving in the right direction. I have always had a fear of making the wrong choice about which foods we should & shouldn't eat because there is so much conflicting information out there which is why this whole idea to eat healthy has failed before. I really feel that if I research most options my gut will tell me which of the researched options is the way to go based on the information that I find.

Oprah has a new commercial where she is partnering with Weight Watchers and in her commercial she basically alludes to the fact that all of our previous starts and stops have led us to be who we are in this exact moment. All of those starts and stops (no matter whether they are in weight loss, finding the right job, leaving a bad relationship,etc..) may not have been successful before, but they have made you who you are today. And today you have the ability to make the changes you need to because of your failures in the past. I found that to be so true to who I am.

Anger tends to be a good motivator for me. And I am pretty pissed off. I am angry that my daughter may be sick not only because of genetics, but because of the food I feed her. How sad is that? That the food that we are supposed to be using to nourish our bodies is the food that is potentially killing us. It is easy to be a sheep and follow what the food industry wants us to believe about our diet. It is hard to go against the grain, but just ask my parents, when I have ever let the hardness of going against the grain stop me?

For the love of my family and the health of my daughter I will get to the bottom of this. I am a fighter and a seeker. There is no stopping me now as hell hath no fury like an angry mama. And if that doesn't help I have H-O-P-E and that, my friend, has carried me very far.

'S' is for Sarah

I do not believe that anything in this life happens by happenstance. Even the hard times when I could have just killed the people who have said to me, "Ya know, everything happens for a reason.". Because those words don't usually make any sense what-so-ever when you are going through a crisis. BUT...I do believe those words to be true even when I don't want them to be or even when I don't want to believe them.

It just so happens that Sarah has been having a rough time since we have gotten back from Ohio. She is having trouble sleeping, is absolutely exhausted, and recently told Bob and I that she has been experiencing numbness in her left leg in the muscles from her kneecap on down to her foot, but because they weren't a pins and needles sensation she didn't mention the issue to Bob or I.

Her lack of energy is heartbreaking to witness. There have been a couple of days since Christmas where she has spent the majority of the day in bed listening to audio books. Too tired to muster the strength to do much else.

Bob and I are doing the best we can, but I cannot help but feel an utter helplessness that is hard to describe to those who have never felt that emotion themselves. My mom, God bless her, sent Sarah a letter that she received yesterday. My mom has MS and can speak to Sarah in a language that I do not know innately, but have only learned through the trial an error of being a parent of a child with a disease such as MS/NMO. My mom's letter was such a mood booster for Sarah because my mom was able to describe some of the symptoms that she feels. I found Sarah several times throughout my reading the letter to her agreeing out loud that Sarah felt the same things too.

One of things that my mom stressed was for Sarah to exercise even when her small body wanted to do anything but. The letter promised that Sarah would feel better if she could just get through the initial exhaustion. This was the catalyst that Bob and I needed as we have been trying to get Sarah to take a walk around the block with us for a few days to no avail.

This morning Bob found a yoga video and spread out my yoga mat along with one that Sarah got for Christmas and the two of them did yoga together. That husband of mine will walk through fire for Sarah (and for any of our children really), so doing yoga with her (no matter how silly they both looked) was nothing for him. I could tell right away that she felt better.

And then a package arrived in the mail. An unexpected packed from an unexpected source. The package was addressed to Sarah (which makes any child happy when mail is sent just for them). She carefully opened the package and right away knew not only what the item was, but what it said as well. She knew what it said because it was a necklace with a braille letter 'S' on the pendant.

She smiled a wide smile, and said, "Mama, this is the letter 's' for Sarah!".  She put the necklace on immediately and after asking what color it was began trying to find her sister and brothers and dad to show them her new gift.

A special THANK YOU goes out to the Hammonds family for their sweet and wonderful gift to a sweet and wonderful girl.

You know, there are so many things that I have learned about life with all that we have been through with Sarah. So many gifts that I would have never known or been open to had we not had to experience the hardship that this disease has brought upon us. One of the greatest of these is the utter gratitude that I feel in my heart for those who send out random acts of kindness like these.

Someone taking a moment and thinking of Sarah and sending her their love in their own special way. I have felt that same way myself when someone will send me an email or Facebook message and just reach out to offer advice or a suggestion or even just to say that they are thinking about us. And in those days when someone reaches out my whole day changes. It really does. The fact that someone took time out of their busy day to just take moment to just reach out and say 'hey' means more to me than anything.

What it also reminds me of is how many times I think to do the same for others, but never do because I think that their lives are so busy or the person in question has so many other people surrounding them with love that my thoughts/expressions of love won't be felt or needed or wanted at that particular time.

I bet you have felt the same way too. How many times throughout your day do you think to tell the stranger on the street that you admire her shoes or that he looks handsome in his outfit? Or do you reach out to the mom at the park and compliment her kids on the wonderful ability her children have to share or play nicely with your children? Or how about someone from your past who you only shared but a moment of time with? Or maybe a coworker whom you are not terribly close with? Or maybe your best friend. Or a distant relative?

Taking the time to just stop our busy lives and  simply reach out to others has such a big impact on people. We don't realize just how much impact it has. If we did, I think we would do it so much more. I cannot tell you how often these notes to me have a general theme of "I hope you don't mind...", or "I know that I don't know you very well...", or "I hope I am not bothering you..." as if people are almost apologizing for reaching out. As if their kindness would not be appreciated. The thing is that I know that I would say the same thing to someone should I choose to reach out.

So just know that whoever you are and to whoever you would like to reach out to - DO IT. Because it will make such a difference in their lives. Even the smallest words or gestures can have the biggest impact. And also know that if you think of someone - reach out to them - don't tell yourself that you will do it later or that you are too busy right now. Because no one is ever really too busy to perform a random act of kindness. They usually don't take too long and you never know how your simple act will be payed forward many times over.

Our December In Pictures

This is the weather that we faced on our way to Ohio. We were only about 90 minutes into our trip and were driving 25 in a 55 mph zone. It was miserable. 

The kids were in good spirits though and they all said that they were willing to add to our already 27 hour car ride in order to go back to Ohio to see loved ones. So, instead of turning around we kept on driving despite the cruddy weather. 

Bob drove the whole day the first day. We drove from 5 am to midnight. By the time we got to our stop for the night in Missouri I don't think Bob ever wanted to drive again. 

We were only on the famous (to me because of the kids movie Cars, of course) Route 66 for about 3 minutes, but it was cool to be able to say that we have drive on it. 

Sammy looking confused after his first car trip with us as a family. He did a pretty good job at my mom and dad's house despite all of the chaos of many people and many dogs. 

Sarah on our first morning in Ohio eating Lucky Charms because Nana and Papa spoil my kids rotten. 

Elizabeth looking at a picture album. We tease my mom because she is constantly taking pictures, but we end up appreciating them because she has captured so many good memories from the past. Bob and I spent a good amount of time while we were at their house looking at all her photo albums which date back to when Andy was a baby. 

This kid is too much. 

A birthday cake made by Aunt Emily: Angel food cake with Nana's hand picked strawberries that she froze for Sarah. 

We were so lucky because the weather was so nice in Ohio. There was only one day that I remember it being cold. The others were just chilly and had no snow. It was a blessing for us because we did not have room in the car to bring winter coats! 

On our last night in Ohio we had a Thanksgiving meal with my parents and sister (and her family) since we did not have a big meal in our own house on Turkey day due to us leaving for Ohio and not wanting to have leftovers in the frig. 

Lincoln National Forest on our way home from Ohio. We had about 2 hours left at this point. It is so beautiful up here in the mountains. 

Sunset in the mountains. 

Relaxing at home after our trip. Everyone was exhausted for a couple of days afterwards. 

Poor Sammy. So pooped. 

A special gift for Sarah from Nana and Papa. My mom and dad bought a book that would record their voices reading it to Sarah. She loves the book very much and listens to it often. 

The kids all set up for Santa to come. The girls slept with the boys on Christmas Eve. 

Lily is ready for bed too. 

Christmas morning. 

Josh getting up...kinda on Christmas morning. 

I love that the kids still want to get up super early (it is 6:15 am) even though they are getting older. 

Lego's from Nana and Papa that Sarah is very excited about getting. 

Josh sporting the head band (although he calls it something else - I forget what though) given to him by his aunt and uncle. Josh wears a head band in almost all of his soccer games in honor of his best, best friend Boorman. 

Tradition! Although he just threw it together this time without making it look too fancy Josh made antipasto for his portion of Christmas dinner. My parents make this dish usually for Thanksgiving, but sometimes for other holidays as well. Josh likes the tradition of doing so and wanted to carry it on even though we live many miles from family and cannot share the tradition in person. 

A Winter Wonderland

It snowed Las Cruces this weekend. Based on the estimates I have heard we received anywhere from 6-12 inches. Bob found a website that provided information on the amount of snowfall this town has received in the last 50 years. According to the site, it has only snowed more than 5 inches 6 times in the last 50 years. The last time there was this much snow was in 1987!

The snow was idyllic. It was big fluffy snow that fell hour after hour for the better part of Saturday afternoon and evening. I was so excited to get to be a part of, and experience, this rare snow storm in the desert. The city looked beautiful blanketed with the snow.

Bob and I went out Sunday afternoon so that he could take some pictures of the mountains. There were so many people out and about also taking pictures. I knew this was a rare opportunity for the people of Las Cruces to see their city awash with the wondrous beauty of a freshly fallen snow.

I am honored to have been a part of the experience.

Lily was so happy to be in snow. 

Bob playing with the dogs. I was curious to see how Sammy would react to the snow. He LOVED it and I played outside for what seemed like forever. It was so cute to watch him. 

The stillness during a break in the storm.

It was so cloudy out that we could not see the mountains from the front yard. 

Our Oleander bush is not handling the weight of the snow very well. 

Sarah on a walk with her dad around the neighborhood.

Making snow angels in the front yard. 

Lily making a dog snow angel.  

Our first snow man in two winters! 

The snow covered Organ Mountains

The snowy desert.