'S' is for Sarah

I do not believe that anything in this life happens by happenstance. Even the hard times when I could have just killed the people who have said to me, "Ya know, everything happens for a reason.". Because those words don't usually make any sense what-so-ever when you are going through a crisis. BUT...I do believe those words to be true even when I don't want them to be or even when I don't want to believe them.

It just so happens that Sarah has been having a rough time since we have gotten back from Ohio. She is having trouble sleeping, is absolutely exhausted, and recently told Bob and I that she has been experiencing numbness in her left leg in the muscles from her kneecap on down to her foot, but because they weren't a pins and needles sensation she didn't mention the issue to Bob or I.

Her lack of energy is heartbreaking to witness. There have been a couple of days since Christmas where she has spent the majority of the day in bed listening to audio books. Too tired to muster the strength to do much else.

Bob and I are doing the best we can, but I cannot help but feel an utter helplessness that is hard to describe to those who have never felt that emotion themselves. My mom, God bless her, sent Sarah a letter that she received yesterday. My mom has MS and can speak to Sarah in a language that I do not know innately, but have only learned through the trial an error of being a parent of a child with a disease such as MS/NMO. My mom's letter was such a mood booster for Sarah because my mom was able to describe some of the symptoms that she feels. I found Sarah several times throughout my reading the letter to her agreeing out loud that Sarah felt the same things too.

One of things that my mom stressed was for Sarah to exercise even when her small body wanted to do anything but. The letter promised that Sarah would feel better if she could just get through the initial exhaustion. This was the catalyst that Bob and I needed as we have been trying to get Sarah to take a walk around the block with us for a few days to no avail.

This morning Bob found a yoga video and spread out my yoga mat along with one that Sarah got for Christmas and the two of them did yoga together. That husband of mine will walk through fire for Sarah (and for any of our children really), so doing yoga with her (no matter how silly they both looked) was nothing for him. I could tell right away that she felt better.

And then a package arrived in the mail. An unexpected packed from an unexpected source. The package was addressed to Sarah (which makes any child happy when mail is sent just for them). She carefully opened the package and right away knew not only what the item was, but what it said as well. She knew what it said because it was a necklace with a braille letter 'S' on the pendant.

She smiled a wide smile, and said, "Mama, this is the letter 's' for Sarah!".  She put the necklace on immediately and after asking what color it was began trying to find her sister and brothers and dad to show them her new gift.

A special THANK YOU goes out to the Hammonds family for their sweet and wonderful gift to a sweet and wonderful girl.

You know, there are so many things that I have learned about life with all that we have been through with Sarah. So many gifts that I would have never known or been open to had we not had to experience the hardship that this disease has brought upon us. One of the greatest of these is the utter gratitude that I feel in my heart for those who send out random acts of kindness like these.

Someone taking a moment and thinking of Sarah and sending her their love in their own special way. I have felt that same way myself when someone will send me an email or Facebook message and just reach out to offer advice or a suggestion or even just to say that they are thinking about us. And in those days when someone reaches out my whole day changes. It really does. The fact that someone took time out of their busy day to just take moment to just reach out and say 'hey' means more to me than anything.

What it also reminds me of is how many times I think to do the same for others, but never do because I think that their lives are so busy or the person in question has so many other people surrounding them with love that my thoughts/expressions of love won't be felt or needed or wanted at that particular time.

I bet you have felt the same way too. How many times throughout your day do you think to tell the stranger on the street that you admire her shoes or that he looks handsome in his outfit? Or do you reach out to the mom at the park and compliment her kids on the wonderful ability her children have to share or play nicely with your children? Or how about someone from your past who you only shared but a moment of time with? Or maybe a coworker whom you are not terribly close with? Or maybe your best friend. Or a distant relative?

Taking the time to just stop our busy lives and  simply reach out to others has such a big impact on people. We don't realize just how much impact it has. If we did, I think we would do it so much more. I cannot tell you how often these notes to me have a general theme of "I hope you don't mind...", or "I know that I don't know you very well...", or "I hope I am not bothering you..." as if people are almost apologizing for reaching out. As if their kindness would not be appreciated. The thing is that I know that I would say the same thing to someone should I choose to reach out.

So just know that whoever you are and to whoever you would like to reach out to - DO IT. Because it will make such a difference in their lives. Even the smallest words or gestures can have the biggest impact. And also know that if you think of someone - reach out to them - don't tell yourself that you will do it later or that you are too busy right now. Because no one is ever really too busy to perform a random act of kindness. They usually don't take too long and you never know how your simple act will be payed forward many times over.