Hidden Blessings

I had a woman who has a strong belief in God, that I have never spoken to before, approach me at a homeschooling gathering not too long ago. She told me that she had heard of Sarah's blindness and that it had given her a heavy heart. She told me that she went home upon hearing this news and prayed to God and that God told her that Sarah would be healed and that she would someday see again.

I was so taken aback by that conversation that I called my sister when I got home in near tears over the things that this woman said to me. I have heard comments such as 'I am so sorry' or 'She is such a brave girl' or things along those lines, but never have I had someone tell me that God told them that he was going to heal Sarah.

Climbing up 'A' Mountain this weekend with pure determination in her eyes. 

I have really thought about that conversation a lot. And this is what I have come away with:

1.) Situations like this are why I struggle with Christianity so much, and why I have not completely allowed myself to be immersed in the Christian faith. I don't ever want to do to someone else what this woman did to me, and I fear that if I give my heart over to God in that way that I might end up doing something like this. (Which, by the way, I truly, truly believe that this woman did not mean to hurt me. And I also believe that she was telling me this information because she felt that she needed to do so. I don't think she was being malicious at all. I just think that, in her mind, I was going to be more open to what she had to say.)

2.) Sarah is perfect the way she is. Being blind is part of her journey in this lifetime. God doesn't need to heal her for her to be perfect. If, someday, there is a cure for her disease and an ability for her to see again then that would be awesome! But if that cure never comes then that is okay too. It truly is.

Walking together down the mountain one step at a time. 

3.) This conversation with this woman was a blessing in disguise because after initially being pretty devastated by her words I have come to see just how far I have come in this journey.  I used to pray, for months, for Sarah to be able to see again. Every time she would relapse I would pray for her to get her vision back. I would make deals with God (or at least try and make them) begging him to please let her see. Let her to see the beautiful sunset, or her new cousin's face, or the words in a book.

She is truly a beauty!

 I don't pray for that anymore. I didn't realize that I had stopped praying for that until I was hit in the face and heart by this woman's words. I am not praying anymore for her to see because, in a way, she already does. She uses all of her other senses to see - she sees (by hearing) the anger in her sister's voice when she is mad. She sees the words on the braille pad (by feeling them with her fingers). She sees that the strawberries have gone bad by smelling them. She can see a stranger approaching on the sidewalk by hearing his footsteps.

More importantly than that though, is the fact that she is who she was meant to be. She is perfect in my eyes. Perfect in her Daddy's eyes. And in my humble opinion, perfect in God's eyes. He will use her and her lack of physical vision to help her to see so much more than you and I, the sighted, see. He will use her to do amazing things. Just as she is.

Sometimes a girl just needs a little help from her daddy.

I don't think I would have paused to see how far I had come in my own journey in dealing with Sarah's illness had I not been forced to evaluate what this woman had said to me. Her words, although pretty shocking upon hearing them, were actually a blessing in disguise.

I don't mourn for all that she is not anymore. I celebrate all that she is. And I wish that everyone else could do the same and to see the beauty in all she has to offer in all of her current perfectness.