We all know the saying, "When one door closes another opens.". What happens though if one door closes because it is a test to see how badly you want what is held behind that door?
After two months of practice (sometimes two times a day) 4 days a week Andy found out last night that he did not make the high school soccer team. All hope may not be lost though because he still may have a shot at earning a spot on the team mid-season. How? I asked the same question myself...
Apparently, some of the kids who made the team do not have the grades to officially play so as of right now they can come to practice and suit up for games, but cannot play in them. Once they prove that they have gotten their grades up (I am assuming after a month of so of school?) then they can officially become members of the team. If they do not get their grades up then they are off of the team which would give Andy a chance to be asked to join it.
I really like and respect the high school coach. He was honest with the kids all summer about what he was looking for. He told the boys that effort and hard work were not enough to make it. You had to have skill and most importantly you had to have heart. He told the boys face to face in small groups who made it and who got cut and more importantly, why they got cut. Andy was told that the coaches could not find a place that seemed to fit him on the field - which I agree with wholeheartedly. He seemed lost often times when playing in scrimmages and did not have the confidence in himself to play the new positions such as defense that he was asked to try out. He also struggled to lead the team as a midfielder - which is what this coach likes to have his midfielders do. The coach told Andy that he loved the way Andy was willing to play any position he was asked to and that he did not ever put up a fuss. He told Andy that he was still welcome to practice with the team and to try and find a spot where he felt he could excel at on the field. If he is able to do this and an opening becomes available then he may asked to join the JV team mid season.
Andy's response was classic Andy. He told me with a fierce determination that he was going to go the practices and show the coach that he belonged on the team. He was going to work extra hard and prove that he is worthy to be one of the 22 boys wearing a uniform. He was disappointed in himself that he let his lack of confidence ruin his game, but he is willing to work on that so that he can improve as a player. (Where was this attitude all summer?! This is what the coach needed to see!)
I am proud of him. As much as I wanted Andy on the team I agreed with the coach's decision to cut him. If a player does not believe in himself how can he expect his teammates to believe in him? If a player doesn't have heart and just seems to be going through the motions why would you want to offer him a coveted spot? Andy played like a kid who seemed like he had never seen a soccer ball some of the time. And then every so often he would play like the kids I knew who excelled under Coach Boorman in Ohio. (I think that that glimmer of talent and his great work ethic are what got him asked to continue practicing with the team.)
The only thing that irks me a bit about Andy being cut is that I don't feel that the kids who didn't have the grades to play should have made the team at all. (According to what Andy heard from the boys some of them do not have the grades to play right now, but still made the team anyway.) I think it sends the wrong message to these boys that even though the coaches/teachers/administrators tell you if you don't make grades you cannot play for the team, and yet these same boys make the team, but just cannot play in the games. It doesn't really add up. The message and the actions seem off. Part of me thinks that it is done this way down here because if a lot of these boys weren't into sports they would end up getting into trouble, and so exceptions are made for them. On the one hand, I agree because Andy has other things to keep him out of trouble plus he has a good home life and a good head on his shoulders. Some of these boys don't have that at all. If making a team and having to come to practices will keep them out of trouble, then so be it. On the other hand though, I feel that if you don't have the grades you should not make the team. Period. I don't think that kids who do have the grades should be cut if there is another player that didn't make grades.
I truly think that Andy will make the team at some point while we are down here.There were an awful lot of seniors on the team (between 12-14). There are not that many juniors and sophomores, so when these seniors graduate there will be more room for kids like Andy to make it. Back in Ohio, a buddy of the boys tried out for the middle school team some time ago and did not make it. (I was shocked, but that is a whole other story.) Instead of letting that rejection keep him from the game he loves he kept on playing and ended up trying out for the same middle school team a year later. And you know what? He made it! Andy and I have talked about that young man's dedication and love for the same sport that Andy says he has. If he truly loves the game, then he will not let this closed door deter him from it he will just work harder and try again next year. Just like his buddy did.
I am thankful that Andy will still get to practice with the high school team. Because we live in the middle of no where when high school ball is in play in the fall there are no other teams that Andy can join. The competitive team that Andy tried out for (and we still do not know if he made that yet) does not pick up until November after high school ball is over. The second club in town does not offer teams above U13. Finally, the recreational team won't have any teams (that I am aware of) for the same reasons that the Rio Rapids does not have teams - all of the boys are playing for their high schools.
The sting of failure is a hard deal with sometimes. I am glad that Andy is going through this experience. Situations like these will help prepare him for the disappointments that crop up from time to time in adult life. I know that he will handle those so much better because of the disappointments he has faced in his youth. I am so very, very proud of him - I cannot stress that enough. I am proud of him for sticking these summer soccer sessions out even when they hurt him so badly physically and mentally that he would come to me crying about how hard it was. I am proud of him for sticking with soccer this summer even when his feelings got hurt because he was picked last out of all the kids for a scrimmage. I am proud of him for not giving up or giving in even when every part of his being was trying to convince him otherwise. That takes true grit. I don't know too many adults that would have stuck it out the way he did.
It is times like these when he grinds it out when I am reminded just how blessed I am that God picked me to be his mother for I learn just as much from him as he does from me. We will see where this closed door now leads him. He may push it back open or he may decide to leave it closed forever. Only time will tell.
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