05.02.18

Some thoughts:

• Three years ago today we brought Sammy home. We miss him every day and still talk about him frequently even though it has almost been a year since his death. I really wish we got to spend more than just two years and three months with him. That dog really was a blessing and made such a huge impact on our lives. What a joy he was. 
• The kids and I are done homeschooling for this school year. I think it is fair to say it was our hardest year, but I know that they learned more than I feel like they did. They always do.
• I am going to wait to decide on the homeschooling/public schooling thing. I know that the right decision will present itself at the right time. I had been reaching out to others to get their opinion on what to do, but decided not to do that anymore. Some people say to put them in public school - others say to keep them home. In the end, it doesn't really matter what other people think./say anyway, so why am I asking? I guess I was looking for someone to show me what I already knew inside, but I have found that that isn't usually the way life works. The answer will present itself when it is supposed to present itself. 
• 8 more days until the kids leave. 
• 10 more days until we leave. (Bob wants to leave on Saturday, not Friday.)
• My parents are coming tomorrow for a visit. I am thankful that they are coming. I really felt my parents love while we have been gone these past 3.5 years. They were the only people who visited us regularly.  Their visits meant so much to Bob and I because it meant a lot to our kids. My mom made a promise to my kids that she would visit them twice a year because that is what her job/finances allowed. And she did that. She visited us a total 8 times in 3.5 years with my dad trailing a close second with 7 visits. Now that we are moving closer, they will take priority in our lives because they made us a priority while we were away. A lot has happened in 3.5 years. My kids are no longer little. In a few days, I will have an 18 year old son in the house. I am thankful that my parents had the foresight to realize that they could never get the time back while we were away and chose to stay connected in my kids lives. Bob and I are so thankful to have them in our lives. Their steady and continual presence in our lives has meant the world to us. Their visits were so needed and provided something for us all to look forward to. We were desperate for familiar faces while we lived in Oregon. They provided just that. 
• Josh's "brother from another mother" is coming to visit us in June. I cannot wait. It will be his first visit since we have moved away from Ohio, and I am like a child on Christmas Eve. I cannot wait to see him, and have him in my home once again. I love that boy so much. Josh and Andy are even more excited - if that is possible.
• I think my sister and her family are coming to visit over Memorial Day weekend. I have missed my nieces and nephews so much. I am so glad that I get to be a bigger part of their lives now. 
• For several months this past winter ( actually 5 months, but who's counting?) we were lead to believe that we were moving to Boise, ID. I was so excited. So excited. But it obviously didn't work out. And I am even more excited that it didn't. Moving to Indiana is exactly where we are meant to be at this time in our lives. I know I keep mentioning that, but when you have felt so lost for so long, and you (finally!) feel like you know where you are meant to be - it is one of the best feelings in the world. It feels so good!!!!
• My brother and sister-in-law are only going to be 3 hours away from us. Bobby has already started planning weekend get-togethers with them in his mind. I cannot wait to steal some time with my nephew as we moved away the year before he was born. 
• The kids and I had a great day today. We got some lunch to go and spent several hours with the dog at a local park. Just talking and soaking up the sun. It reminded me of what a homeschooling day used to look like when they were little. Just the four of us (and the dog) having a good day. Enjoying each other's company. I needed this kind of day with them. They needed it too. 
• We have a house all ready for us in Indy. Our move in date is 05/15. I will share pictures with you all once we get there. It is a big house. I said I'd never live in a big house again, so I feel like a hypocrite, but I am hoping for more family/friends to visit and so the extra space is important to me. Plus, I am planning on the kids and I actually make friends in the area where we will be living, so I want to be able to comfortably entertain them all. 
• I am feeling about moving to Indy the way I did when we moved to Cruces. I will always love Cruces and will always be thankful for the wonderful people we met and places visited. I have a good feeling that I will walk away from Indy with a similar experience. It is just a hunch. But I have learned to trust my hunches. They haven't let me down before. 
• In just a few short days Andy is going to be 18. 18?! Where the hell did time go? And in a few weeks, Josh is going to turn 16! I can remember looking towards the future and thinking how cool life was going to be when the boys were 18 and 16. And now we are here. I am both so excited and so sad. My kids are growing up - and that is such a good thing - but it also means that a big part of my life is changing too. I am so lucky to be their mom.