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| (Photo courtesy of: https://www.countryliving.com/life/g2819/christmas-quotes/) |
This year has been a whirlwind. At this time last year I was planning on moving to Boise, Idaho. We had a tentative move date and were looking at real estate to purchase, but sometimes Life has other plans and the Boise job turned into the Indianapolis job.
It feels good to be here. Living in Indiana has felt like a long warm embrace. I feel like I can breathe here. I feel myself growing stronger every day and getting healthier in every way - mentally, emotionally, physically. Living here is exactly where I need to be at this time in my life. And while I certainly do not want to live here forever - the wild west has stolen my heart - this is the perfect place for me to be right now. I will always be grateful to Indiana for being a place of healing for me.
The kids are all doing well here too. Everyone is growing and finding space for themselves.
As I continue to grow healthier I have decided to take a look at the things that take up my time and determine whether or not each is serving me in a way that is good for me. One of the the biggest negative influences on my life is my electronic usage. I love looking at what you are doing and how you are living your lives. I love checking Instagram to see what pictures you have posted and I love looking at Facebook to see articles you are forwarding or commenting on, or what pictures you are posting of your own life, or what general comments you are making on your feed. But while I am doing all of this, and admiring all of the beauty of your life, it is taking away from my ability to live my own life to its fullest. I forget to see the beauty in my own life when I am constantly looking at yours. I cannot do this anymore. I decided to deactivate my Facebook page so that the lure of that platform is diminished. I haven't decided what I would like to do about Instagram - I have a couple of ideas, but feel for now the best one that will cause the least amount of work will be to just delete app from my phone. I have not decided what to do with this space yet either. A part of me would like to just walk away from it for an undetermined amount of time. A part of me would like to walk away from it forever. Another part of me would like to write it in like I do now, randomly and sporadically. The final part of me would like to actually invest some time and energy into this space to really make it something special. I'll keep putting some thought into it until my gut gives me a clear answer as to which path I should choose.
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| (Photo courtesy of: https://www.countryliving.com/life/g2819/christmas-quotes/) |
Looking forward in 2019:
I hope to travel a bunch. We live so close to so many amazing cities. I am not sure we will ever live some place again with access to as many cities within a 5 hour drive as we do now. We definitely needed these last 6 months just to exhale and settle down here. The two years prior to our moving were a bumpy ride. I know our family desperately needed some down time to unwind and unpack all of the baggage we brought with us here from that experience.
I would like to continue to find ourselves back to one another as a family. We fell apart in Oregon and I have been working on getting us back together the past few months as I have been able to work on my own healing. Having a strong family base is vital to the success of our family. When we are running at our optimal levels we dedicate time to weekly family meetings, have intentional family outings, and spend time together unencumbered by the distractions of electronics.
I would like to have us all watching less TV/playing video games. Electronics can suck the life out of us because of their addictive nature. I would like to see all 6 of us pull away and have some sense of electronic boundaries.
I would like to have more sit down family meals. We hardly ever eat at our table as a family of 6. I think that this is one of the things that I am most disappointed in myself as a mother. If I could go back and do this whole parenting thing all over again I would have dedicated more time to creating a family tradition of having sit down family dinners every night. The fact of the matter is that cooking scares the hell out of me because I am so bad at it.
I would like to continue to focus on getting myself as healthy as I can in all ways possible. I am turning 40 in 2019 and I am so excited about this. I feel that 40 will be a huge turning point in my life. I have spent (just about) all of my adult life taking care of others through mothering. I feel like this next portion of my life will be all about living my best life possible. It will all about me, and I don't feel one bit selfish for making those choices. I have already begun doing so by regularly taking the time to exercise my body. It feels amazing to do so and I don't plan on stopping.
I would also like to challenge myself to read at least 50 books next year. I am pretty sure that I read at least that many this year and feel that with using electronics less next year I can easily accomplish that goal.
Finally, I hope that in 2019 that I am able to set aside all of the things that don't bring me happiness or draw out my passion. I have lived life where I have felt fully alive and I have lived a life where I felt completely dead inside. I have found that the way I live my life is a choice. It always has been - even when I have felt that it wasn't. Feeling fully alive is exhilarating and empowering. Life is an adventure that I only get one shot at. I want to learn from my mistakes and use those lessons to move me forward in a way that will allow me the ability to live authentically in a way that is uniquely me.
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| (Photo courtesy of: https://www.countryliving.com/life/g2819/christmas-quotes/) |
I wish you a very Happy New Year. I hope that 2019 is full of wonderful things for you.
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