A Quick Note

For a while I have been unsure of what to do with this space. My kids are growing older, and I no longer have stories about taking them to the playground or cute photos of crafts we have done. My boys, almost 19 and 17 now, have their own lives independent from our family, and I want to respect their right to live in the shadows - if they so choose. But at the same time, I am still a mother and in that vein I still have stories to share. I am still a person outside motherhood as well. And the truth of the matter is, I have been writing in this space for a long time. A good chunk of my mothering journey has been lived out on these posts. I am not sure I want to end that tradition. And then there are those that really connect with the words on these pages. The emails that I have received from some of you have really touched my heart. It gives this space a purpose, outside of telling my crazy stories, when I know that something I have written has deeply affected one of you because you, too, are living that same experience. That connection means something to me. I have long known that the things I feel are not solitary feelings. Most of us have felt the range of emotions that I have expressed over the years in these posts, but not all of us feel comfortable enough to put a voice to those feelings. To know that when I sometimes write about a topic it touches another person is an honor.

On top of all of this,  after weeks of thought, I realized that even though I do not have little kids running around anymore I do have an 18,16,14,12 year old running around my house. Navigating those teen years can be quite tricky, and perhaps if I share our successes and failures it will help one of you on your own parenting journey. I do believe that there is a way to be able to share my journey as a mother with all of you without causing too much strife in my teenagers' lives. There has to be a way to balance what I want to share with respecting their right to privacy. I am sure there will be some missteps along the way, but I believe I can find that perfect place from which to write from.

I cannot say with what regularity I will write with. I can tell you that it will be more than I have been. (Which doesn't say much, I know.) I want to live my life to live it and be present in it. I do not want to live my life constantly trying to come up with the next post in order to produce some regularity here. Does that make any sense? I hope so.

I can say that I am glad that I have stepped away. If I looked back over the course of my writing I would venture to say that my posts here slowly came to a halt beginning about two years ago - I should have just taken the time then that I have over the course of these last few months to step away and refocus, but  didn't, and that's okay too.

I can also say that I am glad I am back now. I had a little bit of time since the new year where I thought I was going to delete this whole blog and just step away entirely, I am really glad I sat on that decision and thought about it some more. Maybe some day I will print off all of my posts and then delete the whole space, but that time is not now. I still feel I have more to share.

Until next time, please take care. Thank you for staying with this space despite the irregularity of my posts. I know it can be frustrating, but hopefully it will have been worth it now that I am back.