This is my list of things that I am going to
do when I can see again.
- Cry, dance,
and laugh in pure joy
- See my
beloved siblings all grown up
- Look at
myself
- See mom and
dad middle aged
- See pictures
of Sammy and Lily and the girls
- See pictures
of the places we’ve adventured to
- Remember how
to write
- Look at the
amazing, wonderful, different colors
- Look at
words again
- Read my
books
- Have Josh
remind me how to play soccer
- Look at the
sunrise/sunset
- Look at
pictures of baby Moose
- Cry some
more
- Throw away
the jealousy that I have for Elizabeth and be A good sister
- Have Andy
teach me how to play his favorite video game then beat him at it
- Go to
Skyview and see the place that gave me the confidence I needed and see my
little horse
- Draw, color,
and paint
- Walk without
a Kane
- Run without
help
- Look at
Braille
- Paint my
nails
- Pick out my
own outfits and style
- See Oreo
again, my companion who was with me throughout this journey
- Give back
- Watch movies
- Look and
stare and watch and see, see, see
- Never have
somebody describe anything again
- Make eye
contact
- Laugh, cry,
see, dance, love without resentment, and be happy
I asked Sarah why she wanted me to print this list since she obviously cannot see it. She told me that she was doing so as an act of rebellion towards her disease. Printing this list out was her way of telling this disease that despite its desire to do otherwise that she was determined to some day see again. This list is now tacked up on the wall in her bedroom.
This list made me cry when I read it as it shows just how much she misses her "old life" - the one with sight. I cannot imagine how hard her life is and how much she struggles emotionally with her disease. I can only feel its effects as being the mother of a child who struggles.
