Yesterday, with words of love coming from the six of us and hands laid all over her body, Lily breathed her last breath. In the end, when she could hardly stand on her own, we knew that it was time to lay her body to rest. Spinal cancer was the diagnosis of the final vet who oversaw her care from this life into the great beyond. As with Sammy, it all came crashing down so quickly. It felt like there wasn't any time to really process it all. Making our decisions all that much harder was the fact that mentally she was still all there. It was her body that had failed her beyond help.
When Sammy died we had Lily left to love on. When we came home last night, there were no dogs at the house waiting patiently for us by the door. No one waiting to be pet. No tails wagging. Just silence and empty space where our sweet girl should have been. A decade of getting use to this kind of behavior made its absence all the more poignant.
The echo of Lily's presence can be felt all throughout the house; She is in each room and around each corner. Tufts of her hair have been left here and there. The dog bowl, her favorite stuffed animal, leash and collar all sit in the house reflecting a life gone by.
I do not know of a dog more loved. For almost a decade Lily was a part of our lives. She watched as children became teenagers; She was here to watch the transition of some of those same teenagers turn into young men. We were her people, of that I have no doubt. She loved us all, but if truth be told, it was Andy and Josh who stole her heart. She loved those boys so, so much.
Lily was stubborn, sassy, smart, funny, loyal, protective, a great listener, and a mooch. The six us of were convinced very early on in her life that she had no idea she was a dog. She thought she was a human being. She didn't do a lot of "dog stuff". She just wanted to be with us, where ever we were, all of the time. She was the best of pals to have at your side. She was so special.
She was my walking pal. Most mornings (before she began to get sick) we would head out together on our chosen routes. Today, I walked and even though I only had her collar with me (held tightly in my hand) as we walked our route I could feel her presence and I knew that even though she was physically gone from our lives, she will always be with me in one form or another.
When you welcome an animal into your life, you are unconsciously agreeing to two things: 1.) you will experience a love like no other 2.) you will experience searing heartbreak when that animal passes on. You cannot have one without the other. I know for a fact that every one of us would choose to hurt like we all do right now over again in order to share these past nine and a half years with Lily.
Oh, Lilith. We miss you so much. We love you. You will always and forever be our #1 girl. We'll see you someday, sweet one. In the meantime, find a good couch for us to snuggle on and get it ready for us for when we meet again.
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