When She Goes

Sarah and Elizabeth. Elizabeth and Sarah. 

 The very best of friends. Two peas in a pod. Two sisters born 20 months apart destined to become each other's closest allies and confidants. 

Two young ladies who choose to share a room rather than be apart from each other. 

Two partners in crime who bare their souls to one another during their nightly pow-wows staying up together talking long after the rest of the house has long gone to sleep.   

They are the other's keeper of secrets. They are each other's biggest cheerleaders and most honest critics. They show each other the best of themselves and the worst too. 

They are almost inseparable. 

Except....

In just about 18 months Sarah will be attending her freshman year of college. If things stay as they are right now, it looks like Sarah will be living on campus (most likely in another state). As we make the appropriate inquiries into each college of Sarah's choice I have noticed Elizabeth's quietness. As ACT preparations are made, scholarship searches are done, and talks of what is needed for Sarah to be fully independent by the time she leaves for school, I can feel Elizabeth's sadness building in her heart

Elizabeth is so happy for Sarah. She is excited to see where Sarah's life takes her. She wants Sarah to live a full life with all of things that Sarah hopes for for herself. 

And yet...

In order for Elizabeth to see this come to fruition, she must set her sister free, and I know this breaks her heart. My girls are each other's rock, confidant, and best friend. I sometimes feel like they breath from the same set of lungs. Their whole lives are built around each other. I do not know of two sisters who are closer to each other than my girls are. 

I try not to talk too much about college in front of Elizabeth because I know how sad the conversations make her. She and I have had just one private conversation in which tears immediately welled up in Elizabeth's eyes when we spoke about what is to come with Sarah leaving. I could feel Elizabeth's heartbreak, and it broke my heart too. 

I do not want either of my girls to hold themselves back for the other. I do not think that they would want that for each other either, but I cannot help but think that as they each go out into the world will this be the end of their magical friendship? Will the next 18 months be all that they will have to share together in a way that only best friend sisters can? I hope not. I truly hope not. I hope that they will be able to find a way to always maintain their closeness. 

I suppose only time will tell. 

And so, I will spend the next 18 months helping to plan the take-off of my one daughter into the life of her choosing (and very much celebrating that for her) while trying to ease the pain of my second daughter whose heart is breaking as her best friend and sister begins a new chapter of life without her.