Exactly As It Was Meant To Be

 The time is getting closer day by day when my four children will each set out to lead lives completely on their own. This thought used to crush me as I didn't know what I would do with myself after having dedicated the majority of my life to being their mother. 

What I have discovered though is that they have been good to me in the fact that they have not all left the nest at 18 as some children are ought to do. Andy is turning 24 in a few days, and is still at home, but is making plans to spread his own wings, possibly in another state, here soon. Joshua has one year of college left, and he has already notified us of his plans to move to the southwest. His pull, like mine, is to be somewhere where the sun shines almost constantly. Sarah and Elizabeth have plans of their own, although it is still too early to tell if they will actually come to fruition, or if time and life will take them in other directions. 

I am so grateful that they have stayed with me and near me for so long. I needed that. Especially because I have known deep inside that they most likely would all spread their wings and live in their own special places all across this country (and even world). I guess what I am really trying to say is that when they are ready to go, I will be ready to let them leave. This doesn't mean that it won't hurt, or that I won't miss them, but rather that my desire to see them happy living their own lives will override any feelings of despair that I may temporarily feel. And I know that I will be okay without them. That I have my own goals and aspirations outside of being their mother. 

I am excited about the lives that Bobby and I will get to lead together. We have so many ideas of all of the things we want to do. I am so thankful that we chose to be young parents. (Even though at the time it was occasionally very hard.) I feel like I get a second life to live now that my children are (almost) all grown. It's exciting. (Although I wonder if this is what people who have children later in life also experience, except they've had their freedom in the beginning of their lives instead of the second half.)

It's funny - I worried a lot about a lot of silly things as I was raising kiddos, and none of those things came to fruition. In fact, everything worked out exactly as it was meant to be.