As Simple As That

All it took was a nap. A simple nap that was supposed to make her feel refreshed instead changed the landscape of her vision yet again. Sarah came home from Josh's indoor soccer game feeling tired, so she lay down on her brother's bed and took a nap. When she woke up she said that her black dots were gone, but in its place was blurry vision. The kind of blurry vision that, if taken to the doctor, would put her back in the hospital. Sarah has asked us to hold off, and let her be for a few days so that she can see if she can recover her vision again on her own. We know that with Optic Neuritis steroids are not imperative to getting her better they just help to speed up the process. Because she is now having issues with the steroids (hair loss, high blood pressure, etc..) Bob and I are not about to rush her to a facility that is going to give her more of the same (steroids/IVIG) when after four attempts to put this issue to bed nothing is working.

I can feel myself teetering between having a positive outlook and facing these seemingly insurmountable issues with grace and dignity  or losing my mind completely and falling into a downward spiral of darkness. I know that I must choose the former because I have  four little people who are looking up to me and following my lead on this whole issue, but  there moments where I come startling close to letting the blanket of darkness take over. I need to always remember that there are those who are worse off than I am. Keeping this thought in my head does give me some comfort, even in my darkest moments, and I find myself repeating that sentence over and over in my head the past few days.