She's NOT disabled.

I want to let you in on a little, but very important secret. Sarah is not disabled. And if you ever call her that in my presence, her siblings presence, or her presence I will be sure to correct you. 

It is common to call people whose bodies and minds clearly work differently than the "normal or average" mind and body disabled or handicapped. But what a disservice we are doing not only to ourselves, but to that person in particular. We send people a message that they are less than when we call them disabled and handicapped. And we unconsciously send a message to ourselves that we are superior to those who we deem disabled because they lack something that we have. 

The prefix 'dis' is Latin in origin and means apart, away, lack of. Think of the words distrust or dislike and you know that there is a lack of trust or a lack of liking someone or something.  When you call someone disabled you are essentially telling them they have a lack of ability. And because we don't generally point out where the specific lack of ability is and instead focus on the person as a whole it is damaging and insulting because because people who are perceived as being disabled are so much more than their "disability".

When you call Sarah disabled you are telling her that her whole person does not work properly. That her whole person lacks something. When we call someone disabled we don't say - "Oh, Sam's legs are disabled" if say, Sam uses a wheelchair. No, most of us say - "Oh, Sam is disabled. He uses a wheelchair."  We classify the whole person as lacking use rather than the specific part of them that lacks the ability to function "normally". (I am not a fan of the word normal because what does that even mean anyway?)

Calling children disabled is extremely damaging because it verbally reinforces to children what they already know: they are different than most of their peers. What child needs/wants to have it pointed out by society what they clearly already know? 

And here's the thing: we all lack something. None of us is perfect. Therefore, in our own ways we are all disabled. It should then just be known that we are all lacking something and the word disabled should no longer be used to describe people. 

If you need a word to describe someone who you would normally describe as disabled why not try 'abled differently'? This gives the person you are attaching that adjective to the ability to have a positive spin on something that might otherwise be perceived as negative. Someone who is 'disabled' lacks the ability to be an able bodied person. Someone who is 'abled differently' has the ability to be an able bodied person, but she just uses her body (or mind) a bit differently than you or I to get the same result.  Can you see the difference? Sarah can. I can. My children can. So can my husband. I would venture to say so could anyone who's life has been touched with being labeled as 'disabled'.

I know that most of you use this word and never give it any thought because you don't have to. You don't live with a person who the world classifies as being abled differently. I get it. I didn't know either before all of this. But now that you know, keep these words in mind the next time you see someone who you (or others) might describe as being disabled. Let's put something that is perceived as negative into a different light. Let's allow those who are seen as lacking something to shine and let them show us how their lack in one area of their life has allowed abundance in another part of their life. 

This change in perspective is monumental. It really is. Let's change how we talk about and see those who appear to be physically or emotionally different. It has to start with you and me. And it has to start today.