The Choice Is Ours

As another school week ends I find myself feeling extra grateful for this season of life. I feel a happiness and a peace that I haven't felt in a really long time. Everyone seems to be doing well and moving forward in their lives. I appreciate what I have more than ever.

I have been thinking a lot about struggles and hardships lately. I have come to realize that everyone has burdens and struggles; perhaps this fact is obvious to most of you, but I can sometimes be a slow learner. Sarah's disease is our struggle, but we aren't any more or less special than the next family. For a long time I felt like we had been singled out for some reason to carry this hardship, and that we were somehow different than other families who didn't seem to have anything to carry. This is simply not true.

The older I get the less people I know who haven't had some kind of major hurdle in their lives. Some hurdles, like ours, are meant to be jumped over time and time again for the rest of Sarah's life. Others, may have to carry their struggles for only a while, but they still have to carry them.  These challenges change us forever no matter how long we are required to carry them for.

I have had friends and loved ones deal with cancer, child death, near death illnesses, caring for loved ones with dementia, divorce, infertility, you name it. I bet you could create a similar list too. I don't know why we are chosen to carry the struggles that we are. Some might say it is God ordained; others might say it is random. Either way, we all have hardships to carry. 

I would like to believe that our struggles break us open to become better people. People who are more appreciative of life, more compassionate, more understanding, more thankful, more grateful, more honest, more open, but this is not the case. Sometimes our hardships make us more judgmental, closed off, and bitter. The choice is ours, really. I would like to think that I choose the former more often than the latter. How we deal with our hardships affects our quality of life beyond the pain of what we are actually going through/have been through.

I don't ever want to become a bitter person because of Sarah's disease. I know that I am more compassionate towards other - especially those families who have abled-differently children. I know that I try to lead a life in which I am grateful for all that I have (although sometimes the green eyed monster finds me). I try to express how thankful I am for my blessings. I believe that these things will make me a better person in the long run.

The choice is mine in how I let hardships shape my life. It is yours too.