A Woman of Leisure: Day 6

The quiet before the people of my life come home. 

Quiet morning...

I think the caption: "love grows best in simple households" might be more fitting. 

Back at the mom life again. 

Simple pleasures

My love

Last moments alone.

My companion. 

Peace, contentment, and happiness. 

 My family will be home in approximately 45 minutes, and my time as a woman of leisure is about to come to an end. These six days have been an incredible experience. I am so thankful to have had them, but I am equally thankful that they are over now. 

I sought out to make this time alone different than other times when my family has been out of town and I was successful in doing so. I made relaxation a priority and I focused on its importance throughout the majority of my days. This allowed me to relax and think. That doesn't happen for me in my regular life, but this experience has taught me that maybe it should. 

By not allowing myself the time sucking, mind numbing experiences of tv and the internet, I forced myself to just BE. Being forced (by my own fruition) to sit and work through some uncomfortable moments and feelings instead of pushing them away and occupying my mind with electronics was a profound experience. One in which I won't forget. 

Not checking email or taking phone calls (with the exception of my husband) helped me to pull myself out of my daily life and the constant 'to do' list that runs 24/7 in my head like the ticker tape on the bottom of the tv during football games or  news channels. 

I was thankful that I waited so many days to do my chores because as soon as I began doing them yesterday the ticker tape of thoughts began again; if I had done my chores first thing during my time alone I am not sure I would have been able to turn them off. 

I wanted to keep the air conditioning off  (and the tv) because I wanted to feel the natural flow of my days. I wanted to come back to the natural rhythms of a life without modern conveniences. All of the conveniences I have in my life (air conditioning, dishwasher, etc..) just create more time to do other things - which should be a good thing, except more often it isn't because the things that I no longer do because of modern "conveniences" are just replaced by things that complicate, numb, or take me away from living a life in rhythm with the natural world around me. 

The happiest I have ever been in my life was when I lived in New Mexico. I was surrounded by beauty and nature and wonder. It took my breath away and made me feel at home. Sitting among the tall trees in my backyard I feel some of those same stirrings returning to me -happiness, deep contentment, and a knowing of my place in this world. 

Those feelings are some of the most true and authentic feelings I know - and I don't want to give them up again like I did when I left New Mexico. Having these six days to just BE was so important for me because it helped me to work through some uncomfortable moments, but more importantly because it helped to awaken the best parts of me that I thought were lost when I left the Land of Enchantment. 

Now the harder task comes of incorporating what I learned and journeyed through these past six days and bringing them into my every day life as a mom and wife. It is finding a way to remember these moments and feelings and propelling into a world and life that wants me to forget them. I don't have the answers in what this will look like or how successful I will be at  it, but I do know that this contentment and happiness is worth fighting like hell for because it feels the truest version of me. I don't want to feel like a guest is living in my own body and mind anymore. I want to be me, and only me.