Bittersweet

They gathered together to celebrate Mother's Day and my birthday. 

I was afraid one of them would not come. 

I worry that he forgets what he has been taught his whole life - 

That you show up for each other. 

But he came - 

And it made my heart happy.

Of the six of us, I am now the shortest. 

At 5'7" I am now the peewee among giants.

My shortest child is 5'10".

At one point in the weekend, we stood around in a circle talking - 

 I looked up at these four human beings Bobby and I created - 

And thought -

How did Bobby and I make something as heartbreakingly beautiful as these four humans?

They are growing -

And building lives of their own. 

This is how it should be.

This is what I have dedicated my life to - 

To growing beautiful souls to one day leave me - 

To go out into this wide world and create lives of their choosing. 

While I am so excited for them - 

And proud of the people they are and are becoming -

It breaks my heart too.

Their leaving means less time for me to be with them -

 Just the six of us. 

The six of us is my happiest place of all. 

So, I will let them go with a smile on my face - 

And cracks on my heart.

For letting them go is the most bittersweet thing of all.