Creating His Own Path

Joshua is going through a tough time right now. I don't think I have ever been so proud of him as I am now as I watch him struggle through some growing issues. I do not like to see my children struggle with anything, but I know that struggling is a part of life - a good part of life. Struggling stretches our souls and helps us to grow into our authentic selves. Without struggle my children and I would not be able to fully appreciate the good in our lives. We would not be able to truly celebrate the highs of life without the lows that always accompany them.

Josh is beginning to become a free thinker (as my Aunt Laura so coined the term in a conversation we had the other day), and I am ever so grateful for that. BUT sometimes when you really think for yourself the way that you were living your life no longer seems to fit anymore. That can be a hard lesson to reflect on, and an even harder lesson to make changes to. This is the first time in his life when my little guy is starting to see big guys issues crop up in his life, and I know it is scary for him to address some of the dilemma's he is facing.

Because Josh is usually so quiet I am honored that he has chosen to share some of these issues with me. I know when I look into his eyes that there are many more thoughts running through his head that he is not sharing, and I hope that he is able to find some way to make peace with those issues. I have sat with him in his bedroom more nights than I can count just talking with him - letting him jump from topic to topic - and I have loved every minute of it. I hope that by investing the time now with him  I am paving the way for him to know that he can come to me when he is deep in into his teenage years, when life can be very scary, and decisions made can have a HUGE impact on his future life.

I sometimes think that he is looking for me to give him the answers to his problems because that is the easiest thing to do at this juncture in his life. I sometimes wonder if I am disappointing him because I do not have any answers for him. I only have the answers for my Truth - he needs to look inside himself to seek out the answers and find his Truth.

I want my children to learn to think for themselves, and in order to be able to do that I must help show them how to pave that path early on. For some of us (myself included), learning to think for oneself, and to be comfortable in ones own skin is a LONG journey filled with many twists, turns, and bumps. For others, such as Andy and Elizabeth,  they have been comfortable in their own skin since the day they were born.

(Photo by Dave Bartruff @allposters.com)

 

It is hard to be a free thinker.To create your own path in this life. To go against the grain when everyone else is doing something else. I have worried about Josh more than any of my other children when it came to following the crowd, and not listening to his own inner Truth. I am proud of him for trying to find that Truth. I am proud of him for putting himself out there  - for daring to be different - for beginning to truly think for himself regardless of what anyone else thinks.

It is times like these as I watch my children grow that I am overwhelmed by the amount of trust the Universe has placed in me to do right by my children. I am honored and taken aback that there is something in me, that I all too often cannot see, that the Universe sees that believes that I am just the right person to guide these four souls through the beginning leg of their journeys.

I have so very much to be thankful for.