Two Paths Converge

While laying in bed last night I started to think that maybe I have gotten away from the purpose of my blog which was to write about my journey as a mother. My blog seems to have taken a more personal turn and I have focused specifically on myself a bit more than I normally do. I started to think that maybe I need to return to the original intent of my blog and just start writing about the kids again.

These thoughts led to other thoughts which then let to other thoughts. (See, this is how crazy I can be sometimes!) After pondering different things in my head for longer than I would like to admit I came to this conclusion:

I cannot share my journey as a mother without sharing my journey as an individual. Both of these things are bound together, and I cannot have one journey without the other. Only when I grow as an individual can I grow as a mother. In turn, being a mother makes me grow as an individual.

In looking at how both of these paths are interconnected I started looking at what I ask of my kids.  I have asked them to be polite and respectful. I have warned them that a reputation once tarnished cannot easily be restored. I have asked them to display good sportsmanship when they win and lose. I have asked them to watch the tone in which they speak and the words they choose to use when they are angry. I have asked them to be patient and honest. I have asked them to not gossip about others. And all the while that I have asked them to do these things I have picked and chosen which of them I wanted to follow. How can I ask my children to behave one way when I behave another way?

So, I have decided to live the standards that I ask of my kids. In doing so each journey, both my individual journey as a human being and my journey as a mother,  will converge into one for the time being. I know that some of you may be thinking - "Don't you already live within those standards?" In short - NO. I do not live within the standards I uphold for my kids. I say things I shouldn't say in a tone I should not say them in. I gossip. I am disrespectful sometimes. I am not always honest. I am definitely not always patient.

What this all means is that sometimes my blog will be about specific mothering triumphs, struggles, stories, or problems. But sometimes, I am going to post stuff just about me because being a better me means I can be a better motherand THAT is what this blog is about.