We just finished up school work - yes, I know it is 9 pm Eastern Time, but one of the benefits of homeschooling is that you don't have to do school work during traditional school hours. We enjoyed the day outside, in the woods, as has been the case for more days than not these past several weeks. It was nice to feel the sunshine on our faces one last time before it hides away until the spring. Late fall/winter are notorious in this part of the country for being cloudy and gray for what seems like months on end. I wanted our family to soak up as much natural vitamin D as possible before having to rely solely on supplements to get us our fair share of such an important nutrient. The fall leaves are beautiful right now, and I am hoping to be able to get everyone outside as many times as possible before they all fall to the ground.
We have two showings tomorrow for our house. I dread these now, as so many have already come through only to determine that our house is not for them. I wonder if anyone will want our home. I guess it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if we have to stay in this house, although I worry Bob will lose his mind. I am no longer scrubbing baseboards for each showing. I was driving myself crazy spending two hours of unneeded housework every time we had a potential buyer coming through. No one is looking at my baseboards. People are looking at the location, the space, the feel, and the condition. Yes, my house is clean, and people have been providing that feedback consistently in the generic questionnaires that we get back after every showing. They will still rate it as being very clean if my baseboards aren't spotless (although they have been cleaned so darn much I honestly don't think that they are very dirty to begin with). When I go through a potential future home for our family I do not look at baseboards, that is for sure. So, I need to stop being such a nut about the whole thing. It is making me a crazy person. I do wish that the house would either sell right now, or that people would stop setting up showings because I LOATHE showings. Trying to get the house in perfect order, the dog out of the house, the kids ready to go, and finding a place to go for an hour is a pain in the a#@. Especially, when some days I get only a few hours notice that a showing is happening at our house on said day. I am not a good house seller. I get anxious and feel uptight every time I know that there is a showing. Tomorrow we have one in the early afternoon, and then again at dinner time. I have no idea what I am going to do with everyone for that time, and no idea what I am going to do about dinner either. AHHHH!!!
Elizabeth is joining Brownies. We heard from her leader today, and she was running around the house screaming like a wild woman. She has been waiting to join Brownies for the last 2 years. I am excited for her. I look forward to seeing her enjoy this experience, and I am excited for us to have something to do together. I think that she really needs this. I think that we really need it. I am a little apprehensive that she will be a nut, but I am hoping I can tame her a bit. (Who am I kidding? Tame Elizabeth? Ha!)
Sarah has been doing okay. She has an appointment with her ophthalmologist on Wednesday to make sure that her eyes are still doing as well as they were at her last check up. Her legs have been bothering her a bit. Her thighs mostly, are the part of her legs that seem to cramp up, and yesterday the pain was bringing her to tears. We took a hike (not knowing at that point that her legs were bothering her), and being Sunday, decided to do a 3.3 mile trail. It was very hilly, and about 1/2 through Sarah fell down. She slipped actually, and part of it could have been because she was walking on a slippery rock, but I know in my heart that part of it was because her legs gave out. She got her foot wet when she fell, as we were near a stream, and she started to cry. When I asked her what was wrong she told me that she woke up very tired and with leg pains. I explained to her that the only way to get her the rest she needed was to get back to the car, and the only way to get back to the car was to get to finish the trail we were on. She began whining and complaining about a whole variety of things, and I stopped - by this time Bob and the other kids had gone up ahead - and told her that attitude is more than half the battle. I explained that she could choose to cry and whine the whole rest of the trail, and her negative attitude would make the trail seem longer and harder than it already was. OR, I told her, she could choose to have a positive attitude, and know that with every step forward she was taking was one step closer to the car. Her attitude could make this trail go much faster if she maintained a positive outlook. She thought about it for a minute, and pulled herself together. There was a time on the trail where we were literally counting 10 steps at a time, and stopping and being happy that we had made it 10 steps closer to the car than we were previously. I told her that MS can take away some of her physical capabilities, but it can NEVER take away the way she chooses to see her struggles. If she is sad, and plays the 'woe is me' card then her life will be hard and miserable. But if she decides in her heart that she will not let this disease beat her then she will come out on top. I told her though, that the choice is hers alone. I explained that no one could make this choice for her, and that she alone must choose which outlook she will take. She grew quite for a while, and then her daddy came and took her to the front of the line leading our family on part of the trail, and just like that her smile came back.(Sarah adores her dad. She is the one who missed him the most when he was gone on his TDY with his employer for those 7 months, and she is the one whose smile is brightest when he walks in the door. He has a special bond with her, and a magic touch that I will never have. I am glad they have this relationship with each other. They both need it.) When we came to the end of the trail I hugged her, and told her how proud of her I was. I wanted her to see that she had an obstacle (her legs cramping), assessed the situation, adapted to the situation, and made it through to the other side. I wanted to show her that it was her mind and attitude that got her through this, and that she is tougher than she thought. That if she put her mind to something the possibilities are endless. Once again, she smiled, and looked at me with such happiness that it took my breath away. There is not a day that goes by when I don't wish more than anything that I could wake up, and Sarah would no longer have MS. It hurts my heart everyday. Every.Single.Day. But, just like Sarah, I can choose to have a bad attitude about this disease or I can choose to have a fighter's spirit, and not give up or give in. I choose the later. I am so proud of Sarah. She is such a strong little girl who has been dealt a very crappy hand in life. My whole life, my grandfather has been hero (he still is and ALWAYS will be) but now I have a second person that I consider my hero, and it is my sweet, loving, thoughtful, strong, courageous, Sarah.
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