Winter Is Coming

Game of Thrones is one of my favorite TV shows to watch, so when the characters are talking about winter coming I totally get it because winter is coming to the Pacific Northwest and I am terrified.

One of my biggest complaints about living in Ohio was the dreary late fall/winter/early spring weather. Seemingly, day after day of clouds and gloominess took its toll on my psyche and I feel like I fell into a general depression each winter. I would find myself praying for winter to end so that I could once again see the blue sky and sun.

When we found out that we were moving to Las Cruces, NM I damn near cried because my first thought was of the sun. Abundant sunshine day after day. No more gloomy winters. No more seasonal depression. No more praying to see blue sky. And true to my vision Las Cruces never let me down. Day after day it provided that abundant sunshine that I so desperately needed. All year long.

When Bob and I made the conscious decision to become nomadic with our family we knew that the only way to do this was to become 'yes' men. When job opportunities became available (or in the case of the Portland opportunity when the opportunity sought us out) we were almost always going to say 'yes' to whatever came up. We felt that this would allow us to experience as many different places/people as possible. And so far, this has rung very much true. We have gotten to experience so much that at one point in our lives I would have never dreamed possible.

But the thing I am realizing now about being 'yes' people is that sometimes it is a bit harder to see the good in the decision that we have made. We moved laterally to a much more expensive part of the country which has in turn forced Bob and I to make the decision for me to return back to work part time. This in and of itself has caused great stress in my life and makes me want to hit my head against a wall while screaming, "What were we friggin thinking moving here!". Bob, the ever patient and calm partner of our duo, sees the greater picture of how moving here is going to add a piece to his resume that will make him a more attractive candidate for future positions.

On top of this is the fact that, as you all already know, this part of the country is cloudy day after day for months on end. (I am assuming that there is a sunny day here and there, but I don't really know having never lived through a Pacific Northwest winter.) I am honestly petrified of the potential depression that might ensue this winter. (I think a visit to Las Cruces is in order at some point to gain some vitamin D back.)

The cloudiness has already begun. These past two weeks have had more cloudy days than sunny. The grayness hangs over the house like a stifling blanket ever ready to suffocate one's soul. I feel the heaviness and I know that in order to get through this winter I am going to have to have a new plan of attack. I need to meet this gray beast head to head, but I don't know if I have the energy or the strength to do so.

 I am also questioning daily why we said 'yes' to this opportunity. What the hell were we thinking both climate wise and financially?! But when I stop panicking and kvetching long enough to have a moment to think I also know that this move is for a reason. I have to trust in God that we moved here for a reason. I h-a-v-e to lean on Him because if I don't I will suffocate here. When I am at the end of my life what will be the take away from this opportunity? What is the lesson? I know that life is just one lesson after another. What is this one?

Winter is definitely coming, and there is nothing I can do about it. What I can do something about is how I handle winter coming. Maybe I just need to start focusing on the good and what I am grateful for instead of focusing on the not-so-good (for me) right now. Maybe I can start with the fact that I have first world problems, not third world. That thought alone should help me get through the winter if only I don't lose sight of that.