For You

Dear Sarah Marion,

I know how much you love reading my blog posts, and how discouraged you have been that I have not posted in a while, so I thought I would take the time today to write a post especially for you in honor of your 18th birthday. (Although, it would be just my luck that you don't check your inbox this morning and miss this post!)

I am so sorry that I cannot be with you on this special day and that I will not be with you this weekend. I was so looking forward to reaching the summit of Pilot Mountain and feeling the wind on my face and walking on the shore with the waves lapping at our ankles while we seek out shells. I love the beach just as much as you do and have been looking forward to this weekend for as long as it has been booked. Thank you for being so thoughtful and gracious and understanding that I need to be at Grandpa's funeral. I would not have any closure if I could not say good-bye to him one last time. The timing of his death is not ideal at all, but I suppose that is the way it is with death. It waits for no one. 

I cannot believe that you are 18. Holy smokes! Where has the time gone? I don't tell you often enough how proud of you I am - not because of anything you have accomplished (although I am quite proud of you for those things too), but because of who you have developed (and continue to develop) into as a human being. You are brave and courageous. You are kind-hearted and patient (especially with children). You are stubborn and know what you want. You have your ideals and won't bend for anyone or anything that doesn't line up with those values. You are thoughtful. You are so smart. You are a great advocate for all of those who are discriminated against. You are a great sister to your siblings and a wonderful daughter (when you are not being a stubborn beast.)

So much is going to change for you this year. You will graduate high school and go on to college. Your whole world is going to open up in unexpected ways. And as much as I would love to keep you with me forever - I know that you are without a doubt ready to spread your wings. I cannot wait to see what you do in this upcoming year.

I am so thankful that the universe chose me to be your mama. You have taught me so much and I am honored to have been chosen to walk beside you these last 18 years. It has been quite a ride. I so very much look forward to the next 18 years. 

I hope your day is everything you hoped it could be given the circumstances. I will be thinking of you throughout the day as I make my way to New York. Even though I will not be with you in person I hope you know that I will be with you in spirit. 

I cannot wait to hear all about your special day tomorrow and your weekend when I get back. 

I love you. So much. 

Happy 18th birthday, Sarah Marion.