Josh's 2nd Collegiate Soccer Season Fall 2022

What a soccer season this was for Joshua. It was full of ups and downs and twists and turns. It was a true rollercoaster of emotions.

Collegiate soccer has been nothing like any of us expected and this season was no different. Last year, Josh was placed on the first team (which is the team that plays in the games that count verse the developmental team which has games, but they don't count towards anything). He hardly played which was hard for him as he is used to playing full games. He struggled at different points mentally and physically, but always hung in there, put his head down, and did the hard work. He ended up getting about 20 minutes of play time spread out over the course of three games towards the end of the season.

This season, Josh's second year of eligibility, we all thought that Josh would be on the first team again, and that maybe, just maybe, he would get more minutes on the field. The joke was on us. Josh found out at the beginning of this season that he was not actually going to be playing on the first team, but was being bumped down to the second team. No coach told him that. Instead, he found out when he received his soccer kit (uniform) that he was bumped down based on the uniform he received. Josh was really shaken up and upset, and as his mama, I was pissed. Yes, we were all upset that he was bumped down, but what made it worse was that there was no explanation as to why, no respect for him as a player to tell him that he was being bumped down - none of that. Just being handed a uniform that clearly showed him that he was no longer a member of the first team.

So, he began the season starting for the developmental team. He didn't even get to play in full games in the beginning and, although he always started, he sometimes only played half of the game. It was a complete confidence buster to say the least. As the season went on, Josh found his footing and gained more playtime on the second (or developmental) team. He really started to come into his own again (something that he lost at the beginning of his first season) and began to play at an elite level again. The coaches took notice and began asking him to practice with the first team (the teams do not practice together). After a week or two of this, he was bumped up to the first team (along with another teammate) and got to play in his first first team game of this season. He did not start, but he played the entire second half of the game and played really well. After that, he got his first start on the first team, and he started each subsequent game of the season. Just like when he was bumped down, there was no rhyme or reason as to why he was bumped up, and we never knew if he was going to start or get any play time on the first team as his spot was never really secure. This made us all appreciate every minute he got on the field.

When he was playing on the developmental team, the team was undefeated. The first game both he and his teammate were pulled up to play on the first team, the developmental team had their first loss, and to my knowledge, they lost every game once Josh and his teammate were pulled up to first team. On the other hand, the first team was something like 1-7-2 before Josh was brought up, and after he was brought up the boys went 2-2-1, plus he scored his first goal (and he plays defense). I would say that he definitely helped improve the first team's performance.

No one knows exactly what will happen this spring and in subsequent years. Maybe Josh will continue starting, maybe he won't. Maybe Josh will play on the first team, maybe he won't. What I do know is that he loved playing on the developmental team because they played as a brotherhood which is how Josh thrives when he plays soccer. The first team does not play that way at all, and it is every man out for himself. (I would say that maybe this has to do with how bad they were/are?) Josh walked away from this season after having reached the apex of collegiate sports by being a starter on the first team (and reaching his goal) with the serious notion of quitting the team and giving it all up because he was so disillusioned with how the program is run and the realities of playing soccer for Belmont Abbey. As a mama, that was really hard for me to watch.

What I did love is watching my kid come into his own and finding his passion for the game again while he was on the developmental team and then carrying that attitude up to the first team. He stopped worrying about all of the mental bullshit that comes along with playing collegiate sports and just played his best. If that was good enough for the coaches, then so be it. If it wasn't, then so be it. He began to play for himself again and he was lights out this season because of that.

Here is a look at his season: