The kids last day of school is day, and I can feel my anxiety coming down a notch. I have been waiting for them to come home for quite a while now, but even more so since Sarah's diagnosis. I like when my kids are with me. I like being a family, and sharing experiences and memories together. I have blocked this summer off and we are saying 'no' to all summer camps and sports, etc...No deadlines or places to be this summer. Just pure relaxation.
I hope I don't cry when I pick them up from school. I know that as soon as they walk out of their respective school buildings and into my arms / car I know that it will feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I really need that weight to be gone because I feel as if I am carrying too much right now. I need to start putting some of this baggage down because it is bringing me down. I am wearing thin.
I plan on getting us into a routine right away. A calm routine, but a routine none the less. We will be reorganizing the house starting tomorrow - a little bit each day, and establishing a chore chart so that everyone knows what he/she is responsible for each day. Everyone is old enough to contribute, and will do so. This, too, will help to lighten my load.
We will spend a good amount of time at the lake - although we will also be setting up a pool here at the house for those times when going to the lake is not very convenient.
Sarah's medical bills have started to come in. I realize that there is nothing I can do about them, and will tackle them one at a time. Panicking about them will change nothing, and will only stress me out.
I have been doing a lot of baking /cooking the past two days. I have been saving a ton of money, and it is nice to know exactly what is in the food I am feeding to my children. And although all of my cooking has been very time consuming it makes me feel immensely at peace to be working in the kitchen.
I dare say that I might see a glimmer of light at the end of this tunnel.
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