A Walk In The Woods

There is a large parcel of undeveloped woodland next to our neighborhood. It is easily accessible from our home, and I find myself back there often with Max and Miles. I am not sure who owns this tract of land. There are no private property signs anywhere that I have seen. There are multiple survey roads (or at least what appear to be old survey roads) where the land has been cleared in a road-like fashion at one time but has since begun to become wild once again. There is creek that meanders along a good portion of the property, which is my favorite part of the whole thing. The dogs love it too, especially in the hot sun of the spring, summer, and early fall here. The only real signs of human life that I have come across are an old rock fire ring, and further on down the trail, a hunting blind. Other than that, it seems devoid of anything other than which lives in those woods. It is so peaceful back there; it seems a world away from everyday life and I appreciate its proximity to my home very much. 

That brown thing on the leaf is a giant ass spider. 

There is a pretty large tract of land beside our development that has a multitude of what I think are old survey roads. If one is willing to walk through some weeds in certain points, there is a whole world of awesomeness back there. 

My two traveling companions always willing to scope out first what is yet to come.

 

 

18

 

On August 17th Elizabeth turned 18. I am not officially the mother of four adult children. I didn't put any thought into Elizabeth turning 18 because I didn't think it would bother me, but as we went through the day the realization dawned on me that I no longer have any kids - all of my people are grown up. I have been a mother to children for the last 24 years, and now all of the sudden I find myself the mother to no children. The thought makes me a bit sad. 

Elizabeth hemmed and hawed over what to do for her birthday for months. Literally. But at the end of the day, she chose to have a pretty low-key birthday mainly because the majority of her siblings were unavailable to make any plans because of work and soccer. My mom and dad came down to celebrate Elizabeth's day with her, once again showing my children that they will always be there with them to support them as they hit their life's milestones. 

After waking up and opening gifts, Elizabeth chose to head to the lake to hang out on the water for a few hours. After doing that, we were able to meet up with Josh, Endre (our "adopted" son and teammate of Josh's from Norway), and Andy for dinner at one of Elizabeth's favorite restaurants called Pinkey's. We all had a nice time, and it was good to be together to celebrate Elizabeth. After departing from Josh and Endre, who had to get back to school, the rest of us went back to the house where we had ice cream cake for dessert and watched a movie.

And that was Elizabeth's 18th birthday. 

A Welcome Respite

 The windows are open for the first time in months. The temperatures yesterday and today are well below the average for this time of year, and I gladly welcome the respite from the oppressive heat and humidity summertime brings. Like laundry hung on a line, one of my greatest homemaking joys is opening the windows for the first time after a long season of intense heat or frigid temperatures. There is something so satisfying in feeling the air make its way through the house supplying it with a deep gulp freshness that swallows the staleness stagnating everywhere. 

To see my curtains billowing and to hear all of the everyday (and night) noises that exist outside the confines of my home is a welcome change that always lifts my spirits. 

How I love open windows in my home!

The heat is returning though. In a few days the temperatures are expected to be in the low 90's again. With that will come closed windows again and central air turned on, but for now I will relish in the feeling of fresh air filtering its way through the confines of this house. Thankfully, summer is almost over here. The days of multiple open window days (even weeks!) is almost upon me. For now, I will cherish these two days that gave me an unexpected glimpse of what is just around the bend. 

Back To School/Fall

 Thank the gods that summer is almost(ish) over. Y'all know how I feel about summer in the South. It is usually uncomfortably hot through September with a day or two of refreshing temperatures towards the end of the month. I feel like fall doesn't truly get here until October, BUT the fact that I can say that I made it to this point means that I have made through half of May, all of June and July, and the beginning of August. so I can safely say that I am almost through it.  

With August comes Elizabeth's birthday and a rush of that back-to-school chaos that I love. Soccer season begins too, for both Josh and Elizabeth. Elizabeth is playing on a club team this year. She finally decided that she wanted to get more serious about playing soccer during her final year of eligibility (go figure), so we'll be traveling a bit for her and a bit more for Josh who is also entering his final soccer playing season. 

Josh moves back to school in less than a week while Sarah moves back to school in a little under two weeks. I am excited for both of them to be moving forward and being one step closer to their goals of receiving degrees. Andy is finishing up his first class at the aviation school he is attending, and appears to be doing really well, so although he began classes in July, it is still so new that it seems like he is beginning his own 'back to school' experience as well. 

Pretty soon the house will be quiet(er) again. With Andy gone Monday - Thursday evenings and then working some of the time outside of those days, it will just be me, Bobby, and Elizabeth here most of the time. It will be a new normal to get used to, but one in which we can adjust to. 

The Last First Day

On August 1st of this year, Elizabeth and I began her senior year of high school. This also means that it is my last year of homeschooling. I have been a homeschooling mama for 14 years. That is a lot of my life, and I am having a harder time than I anticipated reconciling the fact that I am in the homestretch. 

I am so glad that I homeschooled our kiddos for the majority of their school years. There are definitely things that I wish that I would have done differently, and if given the chance to go back and have a 'do over' would definitely change things up, but I cannot, and so I will do what we all do and march forward with the beat of time. 

Elizabeth is not on the traditional path of what looks like "normal" schooling. She learns differently and struggles with things that others do not. I am finally at a place in my homeschooling journey where I am comfortable with our learning journey looking a bit different than others. As long as she is moving forward on her own path then I am okay with that. 

We debated on starting this school year after Labor Day, but I decided against it because we often have visitors in the fall, and we do not generally do schoolwork when we have visitors. I wanted to have a jump on our stuff so that when we do take a visitor break we are in a good spot to do so. I also want to be able to end our school year at a reasonable date to give Elizabeth the summer to relax before she either joins the workforce fulltime or goes to college. (She is thinking she would like to take a European gap year in between graduating and continuing on with her education.)

On our last first day Elizabeth cleared out her binders from last year, made new binder covers for her subjects for this year, reviewed what she will be working on this year, and lightly began some of her subjects.  We always start off our first couple of days just getting introduced to the upcoming year and getting set up for success. 

We will begin the meat and potatoes of our school year today.

Decorating her binder covers.

This year's schoolbooks. 

My last Erin Condren school planner. 

 

A Dream Come True

One of Sarah's dreams, post disease diagnosis, was to welcome a guide dog into her life.  There are many advantages to having a guide dog as a visually impaired person, the biggest being that it helps to have two brains working together toward a common goal, which in turn creates confidence in oneself.  Plus, the implicit trust between a guide dog and her handler allows a level of freedom for the visually impaired person that a cane alone does not. 

The thing that I did not know about guide dogs prior to Sarah losing her own vision, is just how hard it is to qualify for one. Guide dog organizations don't just hand out guide dogs to anyone who wants one. The application process is very thorough. Not only do you need proof from your physician that you are visually impaired - a person also has to have multiple references, get through an interview, and also show that one can navigate in the world on her own. This last part of the process involves a year + of training with an orientation and mobility specialist.

 Our family had to hire our own private O & M specialist while Sarah was under the age of 18 (long story) to teach her the skills necessary to qualify for a guide dog. We interviewed and hired a wonderful woman named Jana. Jana is an amazing human being and teacher who helped Sarah learn how to navigate in this world by herself. Sarah explained to Jana that it was a dream of hers to qualify for a guide dog. Jana explained to Sarah that this would be a long process, especially since Sarah had no previous orientation and mobility training. It took about 16 months, but by the end Sarah learned how to navigate stores, neighborhoods, the bus system, the train system, uber/taxis, navigating all kinds of roads, including multiple lane road crossings (think 3 and 4 lanes going in all four directions). Jana showed Sarah how to navigate a college campus, how to pick up on different sounds and signals to help her get around by herself. It was an amazing process to watch unfold from my perspective.  To see Sarah's determination to get through some really hard stuff and to meet with Jana weekly and put in the work just shows how tough Sarah is. Imagine closing your eyes and with only a cane getting around your neighborhood, crossing a street with 3 lanes and using your ears to be able to tell when the lane closest to you has a red light, getting on a bus and knowing when to get off of the bus at your stop, walking around a store to shop or knowing where to go for help with shopping. Could you do it? I know I certainly could not. Now imagine watching your child do it. It is so inspiring and scary. But this is what Sarah needs to do to accomplish her goals - she needs to know how to navigate in this sighted world as a person who is blind. 

And so...after 16 months of O & M training, several months long application process, over a year of waiting for her match after her application was accepted, Sarah finally got her guide dog. She flew to White Plains, New York two weeks ago and went through a 12 day bootcamp learning how to navigate life with a guide dog (which is different than doing so with a cane). 

On Monday, June 10, 2024, Sarah met Heron - her yellow lab match. To say that it was an emotional experience would be an understatement. This was the culmination of a lot of hard work and determination. It was a dream come true for Sarah - the first of many. 

I am so proud of Sarah for putting in the work the accomplish this goal. She did this all on her own. No one else could help her with this dream. And she did it.

Sarah and Heron came home on Saturday, June 22, 2024. Miles immediately took to Heron. He is head-over-heels in love with her and will not leave her side. Max isn't so sure of her. He doesn't like a new being intruding on his territory, so it will take a bit of time before he warms up to her.

What a ride this journey has been. 

Meet Heron

At her graduation ceremony at the end of the two-week bootcamp.

Playing tug-of-war. 

Miles happy as a hippo with his new best friend. 

 

How They Grow

     We arrived home last night after a brief trip back to Ohio. We drove up north to attend the wedding of a cousin on Bob's side of the family. The groom is a young man of just 22 and his bride is 20. He chose to get married at 4 pm on a Tuesday which isn't the most guest friendly time or day considering that most people would have to take time off of work to attend, but it was what he and his bride wanted, and so those of us that attended made the appropriate arrangements to be there. 

    The young couple had a small wedding budget, so I knew that this was not going to be a traditional American wedding where gobs of money is spent on a party that lasts just a few hours, but I wasn't sure if it was going to a very guest friendly wedding having only the inconvenience of the day and time of the wedding to try and foretell what the rest of the event was going be like. 

I am happy to report that their wedding was a beautiful, perfect event made of all of the things that a wedding should be - family and fun, love and laughter. The young couple was glowing - especially the groom - and it was evident that they will make a good match for life if they should choose to grow together and commit to life as a married couple. 

The vibe of the wedding was great. There were times during the afternoon where most of the guests were up on the dance floor enjoying themselves immensely - which says something considering that it was a dry wedding, and most people did not have the liquid courage we usually rely on at weddings to get ourselves out on the dance floor. 

The bride looked so beautiful. Her wedding gown made her look like a princess. The decor was rustic which fit perfectly with the venue which was a lodge surrounded by woods. White lights hung in the dark wooden rafters both at the ceremony space and the reception area. Burlap and mason jars with origami birds made up the table decor completed with greenery snaking its way among the mason jars. The groom's sister made the cupcakes and the single tiered wedding cake that the bride and groom cut. 

There was no garter toss or bouquet toss - which I don't think anyone missed or even noticed the absence of. There was a father-of-the-bride dance and a mother-of-the-groom dance along with a maid-of-honor speech (given by the bride's sister) and a best man speech (given by the groom's brother) all of which was sweet to watch and listen to. 

The wedding was exactly what a wedding should be. It was a celebration of the beginning of a new life for the young couple without all of the unnecessary frills and expenses that make up most American weddings today. Nothing was over the top, but it was still a comfortable guest experience - which I think is equally important. 

The crazy thing, for me, about this wedding is that this young man is the oldest of four children all about 2 years apart - the same as my children. My kids and their cousins spent a good amount of time together when we lived in Ohio - especially when they were all toddlers and preschoolers. The groom was born one month after Josh, Sarah and the groom's oldest younger brother are nine months apart, Elizabeth and the groom's sister are two months apart, and the groom's youngest brother came two and a half years after the girls were born. Their family and ours spent many an afternoon playing together, hiking, accessing nature parks all the while expanding our families together until they were complete.

To see the groom side-by-side with his three siblings - all grown up - was pretty emotional for me. He is now going to go on and create his own nucleus - his own family - and will leave behind the one in which he was raised by. This hit me so hard because I know that this journey will also happen in my own nuclear family sooner rather than later. To look up at those four kiddos all grown up was such a visual reminder that time does indeed march on. So often time seems invisible until we come face to face with something like a wedding, and we can see very clearly, that while time seemed hidden, it was very much there growing these babies into children, and now young adults ready to begin their own lives in their own ways. And while I may think that time only affected these four cousins, I know that my children have also grown, and one day it will be my four children standing side-by-side at a wedding or commitment ceremony for one of their own. 

I cannot believe how they have grown. It seems like just yesterday they were babies, and in the blink of an eye they have grown into these eight unique, amazing humans.  It is such a bittersweet thing for this mama heart. I am both so happy for these eight children and yet, so very, very sad that this part of our lives is coming to a close. These eight little babies are getting ready to fly the nest and take some of their mamas' hearts with them. 

Amazing (Vegan) Egg Substitute

 I ran out of eggs while making a recipe the other day and looked on Pinterest (my absolute go-to for all things recipe) and found the most amazing substitute for an egg ever. This recipe 100% works and I thought I'd share it with you since I had such success with it. (This recipe is for one egg only. If you need to add two eggs to a recipe double the items below, triple it for three eggs, and so on and so forth...)

Egg Substitute:

2 tbsp water

1 tsp canola (or vegetable) oil

2 tsp baking powder

Happy Baking!

The Dog Days of Summer

 I absolutely love fall, winter, and spring (what little we have of it) in North Carolina. The temps are usually amazing, and although it does get cold in the winter, it doesn't get too cold. The mountains and beaches are empty of visitors from far away. The sun is usually shining, and it isn't oppressive. The snakes are hibernating for most of those seasons. The windows are kept open for most of fall and spring. 

 The summer? The summer here is the bane of my existence. I loathe the humidity that makes it feel so much hotter than it actually is. The stickiness, biting bugs, and heat that you cannot even get a respite from in the late evening/early morning hours is a version of hell for me that I do not enjoy. 

Summer is my winter. I do not like to go anywhere but from my air-conditioned house to my air-conditioned car to the pool or the lake, and then back home again. I am thankful that I have access to ways to keep me cool. I know that not everyone does, and I appreciate my good fortune at being able to have these tools at my disposal. But a person can be thankful for something and still despise it. 

We ended up turning the air-conditioning on at the end of April because we have been "blessed" with a preview of the summer to come with higher-than-normal temps this past week. I know I must sound like a curmudgeon, but I just needed to get this off my chest now so that I can pull up my big girl shorts and buckle up for the next 4-5 months of scorching days and uncool nights. 

Maybe I just need to split my time between the Pacific Northwest in the summer (the only time it is sunny), the Southwest in the winter, and the Southeast in the fall and spring? (Or perhaps I should just spend all of my time in the Southwest in a little place called Las Cruces?) Now that sounds like a plan. 

Exactly As It Was Meant To Be

 The time is getting closer day by day when my four children will each set out to lead lives completely on their own. This thought used to crush me as I didn't know what I would do with myself after having dedicated the majority of my life to being their mother. 

What I have discovered though is that they have been good to me in the fact that they have not all left the nest at 18 as some children are ought to do. Andy is turning 24 in a few days, and is still at home, but is making plans to spread his own wings, possibly in another state, here soon. Joshua has one year of college left, and he has already notified us of his plans to move to the southwest. His pull, like mine, is to be somewhere where the sun shines almost constantly. Sarah and Elizabeth have plans of their own, although it is still too early to tell if they will actually come to fruition, or if time and life will take them in other directions. 

I am so grateful that they have stayed with me and near me for so long. I needed that. Especially because I have known deep inside that they most likely would all spread their wings and live in their own special places all across this country (and even world). I guess what I am really trying to say is that when they are ready to go, I will be ready to let them leave. This doesn't mean that it won't hurt, or that I won't miss them, but rather that my desire to see them happy living their own lives will override any feelings of despair that I may temporarily feel. And I know that I will be okay without them. That I have my own goals and aspirations outside of being their mother. 

I am excited about the lives that Bobby and I will get to lead together. We have so many ideas of all of the things we want to do. I am so thankful that we chose to be young parents. (Even though at the time it was occasionally very hard.) I feel like I get a second life to live now that my children are (almost) all grown. It's exciting. (Although I wonder if this is what people who have children later in life also experience, except they've had their freedom in the beginning of their lives instead of the second half.)

It's funny - I worried a lot about a lot of silly things as I was raising kiddos, and none of those things came to fruition. In fact, everything worked out exactly as it was meant to be. 

Sarah's Freshman Year - Complete

 Sarah came home at the end of last week after completing her freshman year at the University of North Carolina - Greensboro. She will be home for the next (almost) four months on summer break. To say that her freshman year was a doozey - would be a huge understatement.

Sarah began the year with a roommate that was unlike anyone I hope to ever come across again. Her roommate's parents had both served prison time, her dad was a drug dealer, her mother was a drug user, she was raised by a grandmother, but saw her parents in between prison stints. Her roommate entered college about 12 weeks pregnant and was a habitual pot smoker all throughout her pregnancy on top of regularly consuming alcohol. She talked on the phone at all hours of the night and watched tv shows as well - all without headphones - even when some were purchased for her. She was continually looking for "a man" to take care of her as her baby daddy (who was significantly older than her) left her once he found out she was pregnant. Sarah knew all about her sex life as she did not use headphones (as mentioned above) ever, and also knew about the prolific number of men involved in her roommate's life. 

To say that Sarah's roommate was a piece of work would be a major understatement. Sarah went to the housing department multiple times (and I reached out to them as well multiple times). The solution was for Sarah to hold tight until the second semester when she would have her own room. I don't know how, but Sarah made it, and the second semester was a much quieter, calmer semester. She was able to keep the room that she and her roommate shared since that was what she was familiar with and could navigate the campus easiest from. 

 Sarah entered UNCG in the fall of 2023 as one of a select, small group of students who qualified for the school's honors program. Her course of study is psychology (although as many of us do, she is most likely going to change it to recreational counseling - or something like that) and she plans on immediately pursuing a master's degree upon receiving her bachelor's degree.

Academically, Sarah did phenomenal. She made the Dean's List both semesters - which was an amazing feat as a good number of her teachers did not make the time or know how to create content so that Sarah could learn. The school's office of disability is awful. They are absolutely no help at all and are a running joke among the campus students who rely on the office of disability to help the students get equal footing with their learning - despite their disabilities. (It seems the diversity and acceptance the school touted during tours and admissions applies to everyone except the disabled.)

Besides managing to get great grades with only partial support from the university, the biggest and best accomplishment Sarah achieved this year (in my opinion anyway) is Sarah's ability to live on her own. Sarah navigated the campus like a champ. She was able to live independently as a fully functioning adult doing all of the things (housekeeping, laundry, cooking, etc...) that your normal able-bodied person does when she lives alone. She proved to herself that she could do it. And she did. Now she knows that she can live alone and be successful at it despite having no vision. 

Sarah was able to make a few friends which I am thankful for. It is amazing how we (able-bodied people) shy away from disabled people, and how little effort we make to get to know those who are different from ourselves. Being blind, it is hard to "see" who is around you to be able to strike up conversations with - like you or I might do. Which means that Sarah requires others to speak to her first a good deal of the time (not 100%, but a lot). It was disappointing for me to hear from her how few people (as in very, very few) were willing to do this. Sarah is such an amazing young woman. It is heartbreaking for me to know that so many people will miss out on knowing her because she is blind, and they are too afraid, prejudiced, ableist, etc... to reach out and make the first step in getting to know her. 

I am proud of Sarah. The bullshit that she had to navigate a lot of the time trying to get herself equal access to an education that able-bodied people automatically get was a lot for anyone to try and deal with, let alone an 18-year-old. Often, I would offer to step in and help her handle some of these stressful situations and she would tell me that she wanted to handle it on her own. There were days when she was ready to give up, but she didn't. She persevered - which we (her family) always knew she could. This coupled with her roommate situation first semester while also learning to be in an unfamiliar environment without the support of home being 'right there' (we were an hour and 45 minutes away) would have crushed a weaker person. But she did it. 

I am glad to have her home, but I am even more glad that she went away, so that she could learn what we have known all along - that she can do anything she sets her mind to. 

Life In Pictures

 

The best trail system I have found in NC is called the Carolina Thread Trail. There are various hiking trails all around Charlotte and the surrounding areas. The symbol of the trail is above and I just love it. 

I guess I really liked these flowers...

A brilliant sunset. 

Sarah finishing up her semester and ending her freshman year of college.  

Sarah's dorm room without any roommate now that her wretched roommate moved out after last semester to have her baby. 

Hozier concert

Bobby's birthday cake made by Elizabeth.