I have received a good number of compliments in my life about various things. I appreciate them all, but two of them stand out above the rest and they were said to me by my children who didn't even know the value of the words they were saying and how much they would mean to me.
Both compliments were actually one in the same. They were from Josh and Sarah and the compliments came about like this:
Josh was at a soccer tournament in Tuscon, AZ this past fall. He was rooming with his dad, Sarah, and a teammate and was away for the entire weekend. Normally, I do not bring my cell phone into my bedroom at night. I like to leave it by the computer or on the dining room table, but this particular night for reasons still unknown, I placed my cell phone on my nightstand. In the middle of night I received a text from Josh. He was letting me know that he was homesick and that he wanted to come home. He told me that he needed me and that he did not feel well. In the course of our conversation I managed to get him calmed down and just spent some time going back and forth with him via text until he felt that he could go back to sleep. In the end very end of the text he thanked me and told me that he loved me. I cried. Josh does not tell people that he loves them. He doesn't like to hug people and he definitely doesn't like to kiss people. It is just who he is. He isn't open and warm and fuzzy. He shows his love in other ways, and those who know him best know this and accept this as a part of who he is. The fact that he was so open with me was awesome. It is nice to hear the words that you are loved even when you know deep down you are.
The second situation was when we were visiting Ohio back in December. Sarah had an opportunity to spend the night at a friend's house. Even though she loves this family very much she hadn't been away from me or Bob overnight since we have moved to New Mexico. (We have each been away from home on separate occasions, but Sarah has always been with one parent at night here at the house.) Again, in the middle of the night, I got a call (that I did not hear this time) from a wee little voice that said that she was homesick and that she couldn't sleep and needed me. (She eventually got to sleep with the help of her friends mom.)
In those two situations it became clear to me that I am my kids home. When they are feeling lonely or sad or scared it is me who can comfort them best. It is me that they want more than anyone else in this whole wide world. It is their mama who has the magical touch that leaves the essence of home etched into their being. Isn't that an awesome compliment? Home is where we are most comfortable. Home is where we feel loved. Home is where we feel safe. Home is where we feel secure. In the dark of night, that is what my two kids were telling me - I am their safety net, security, & comfort. Where ever I am is home to them. The very nature of me being their mom is what makes them feel home. Despite all of my mistakes and hang ups my kids (at least two of them) in their times of uncertainty and worry believe that I am the one who can give them the most comfort. That just amazes me.
It makes me feel like I am doing something right. And it also makes me feel so utterly privileged. I am so, so, so blessed that I was allowed to have these four beings bestowed under my care for the time being to grow them and nurture them and love them. I thought the title of Mom was the best gift ever - I now feel differently - knowing that I am "Home" is an even higher honor. There is no greater compliment. And for that I am truly grateful.
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