Butterflies

(Photo courtesy of: www.123tagged.com)

I used to think that I would finally get everything in my life together. I would finally be as close to perfect as I could get it. I would finally be the perfect mother. The perfect wife. The perfect daughter, sister, granddaughter, aunt, friend, cousin, etc...The only thing that was stopping me was that one thing just out of my reach that I couldn't quite grasp. (Mind you, that one thing constantly changed and once I grasped a hold of it that one thing would become something else.)

I felt like I could finally begin living my life once I had it altogether once this last hardship (whatever it was at the time) would be over. Then I would be perfect and I would have it together and life would be great.

But life doesn't work that way does it?

One of magical things about living in Las Cruces is that I felt God's presence right away here. I could feel His touch in a way that I never ever have before. He seems closer to me here than ever. (Or maybe I am just more open to His presence here as I know that He has always been by my side even when I didn't acknowledge or feel His presence.)

Since moving down here I have also noticed an abundance of butterflies. Beautiful, graceful, content butterflies. Each doing her own work in her own time. Fluttering around from flower to flower or allowing the wind to seemingly take her where she needs to go next. She has no concerns about the world around her. She does not bother to get involved in those things that do not concern her. She just goes along and does her job and lives life. Freely and intentionally and beautifully.

Each of us is like a butterfly. We are all beautiful in our own ways. Some of us are more colorful and flashy. Others like to have our colors blend in with the scenery around us. We all have jobs to do. Very important jobs that no one else but us could fulfill. We are all unique. All valuable. All equally important.

I am beginning to realize that I will never have the perfect life as I thought it would be, but I will have a life perfectly suited to me. I already do. And so do you.

I also think that like a butterfly I have been through some times of uncertainty when I wasn't sure what was to come next. I cocooned myself in self doubt and worry only to find that when I came out of that cacoon I had changed. But instead of being changed for the worse I came out as beautiful as a butterfly with my own new colors and patterns. Different than before. A better version of myself even if it is only in some small way. Sometimes life changes us and the changes are apparent and colorful. And sometimes life changes us and the changes are quiet and blend in with life around it. I have been in both situations. I know that you have been there too.

I imagine that my life will be a series of cocooning myself when times are hard and I need to go inward and focus solely on me; and then coming out of that a new and beautiful butterfly. Constantly evolving. Constantly changing. And each time I evolve I will take the lessons that I was meant to learn in the previous periods of my life and add them to the wealth of knowledge that I carry around within me. Just as every butterfly is unique and has her own pattern and her own story, so do we.

I will never be the perfect wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, etc...

Never perfect, but perfectly me. Just as you are perfectly you.