What If You Had To

I was excited to see that yesterday's post got some interest mainly because it appears that I am not the only one who struggles with my desire to feed my family well on a budget. When I offered up the challenge to others to try and join me in my quest to feed my family of 6 on a food stamp budget there were crickets. Not only that, but I imagine that some people were even thinking how cute it was that I was trying this challenge out. I bet those same people ventured to think that it was nice that I was trying to feed my family on a limited budget, but there was no way they could ever do it. After all, the allotment of $522 a month is a food budget for mice not human beings. I imagine that they felt this way because this is how I would have felt prior to being convicted to try it out myself. If you would have posed this same question to me last month or even 3 weeks ago I would have done the equivalent of patting you on the back and wishing you luck all the while telling myself how crazy you were for even trying.

But what if you had no choice? What if that was really the amount of money that you had to feed yourself, your spouse, and your four children? What if you couldn't turn to that credit card and say, "Oops, I spent too much again! I will just pay with my card instead.". What if there was no card to turn to?

You see, it is easy for you and I to say, 'I could never do that', but what if you had to? What choices would you make? This is a fact of life for many, many Americans. (I am not going to even get into the food budgets or lack thereof of people who live in other countries.)

I am completely convicted now to do this. What got me started on down this road?

Well, I have been in kind of a funk these last few weeks hence the lack of posts here. I have been missing my family who are very far away and whose lives are changing and I can only share in that change via emails, phone calls, and pictures. I am missing my husband who (I feel) is constantly working. He is my best friend and the loneliness that I feel with him working so much is immense and cannot be replenished by anyone else. My home was not a smart choice for us and I have been worried over that. It is way too big for us and is in need of work that would not make economical sense for us to do if we are only going to be here for a short while. In fact, we probably should have rented a home instead of buying one, but that is a whole other story. Live and learn, right? Sarah has been having just a couple of minor issues (legs cramping, more black dots, etc..) which makes me realize just how far we are from quality, reliable, good medical care. Food expenses are ridiculous out here (although not as ridiculous as I would imagine Hawaii and Alaska to be). And the list could go on and on.

Then, because I am me, I was feeling guilty and beating myself up for being in a funk because I have such a blessed life. I have a dedicated, loving, hard working husband. I have four amazing children. I live in a 3200 square foot 6 bedroom house. I have two great dogs. I can pay all of my bills each month. I have been able to fly back to Ohio several times since moving here. I get to stay home with my children and homeschool them. Yada, yada, yada.

So, what finally opened my eyes to how silly I have been was the sermon yesterday in church. I love the church that I go to. I love that the pastor is amazing and has opened my eyes to the faith I am walking in now. My journey with God is still in its infancy and I have so much to learn about what it means to being a true Christian, but I am learning none-the-less. Anyway, I was sitting in church listening to the pastor and his sermon about real faith. He talked about how easy it is to say that we have faith in America because we have never been truly challenged. He gave the example of what it is like to be a Christian in the Middle East where to do so, in some areas, is to put a target on not only your back, but on the backs of your family as well. The sermon opened my eyes to how good I truly have it. So what if parts of my house need to be repaired? It just means I have one to live in. How many people out there would trade places with me in a heartbeat to have the material possessions that I have? So what if I miss my husband? It just means that I have one and that he works hard to provide for our family. How many people out there would love to have the kind of husband that I do? How many people would love to have his job? And so on....

That line of thinking led to the one about my food budget. I was sitting at the table looking over our finances as I do from time to time when I realized just how much I was spending on food. (I tend to want to forget how much cash goes towards food, so it always shocks me a bit when I see how much is actually going out the door.) When I saw how much I was spending out here on food I started to think of how lucky that I was to be able to spend that much on food. Which then got me to thinking how many people in this area earn in a month what I spend on just groceries. After a few more avenues of thought I realized how spoiled I am in just about every area of my life.

It goes deeper than that really. How spoiled are all of us? I cannot think of any of my friends and family who are not in the same boat of luck as I am. Sure, some of us watch our money a bit more than others, but overall I would venture to say that most of you are in the same spoiled boat I am. We all live very charmed lives in comparison to some of our fellow Americans. We do. Sometimes we don't like to think that way, but if we were all honest with each other and ourselves I think we would all agree. Do we have struggles? Absolutely! I am not saying that our lives are perfect or even easy, but compared to the lives that others live around me, I have it pretty good.

As I spend my money this month on groceries and I have to make hard choices about what I buy (because I know that the only reason this week was so easy for me to shop was because my cupboards were decently filled still from my gluttonous shopping days) I will be thinking of all of those who don't have a choice in doing what I am doing. I will be thinking about the moms and dads who have to make the choice between garbage bags and another box of cereal, or ramen noodles and a bag of carrots or a bag of flour and a gallon of milk. Because  that is a reality for so many people in this country.

Life is so much a matter of perspective. I was in a funk because my perspective was off. Sure, there are things that I would like to have, but I have so much already. I have no reason to be in a funk. None. Life is good even when I think it is bad. It really is good.

So, for those of you who think that my little experiment is a cute idea, but there is no way you could ever implement it think about all of those who have no other choice. I think that the answer becomes a bit different if you look at it that way. Then it just becomes a matter of not wanting to do it and not that you can't.