Sunday, August 3, 2025

The Most Bittersweet Goodbye

I said goodbye to my youngest son today, and it was one of the most bittersweet moments of my life as a mother. My heart is filled with such love for this child of mine and so much excitement for his future ahead. I am also filled with a sense of pride that this kiddo of mine was brave enough to seek out a life that was calling to him even though it meant moving all by himself to a different state 1700 miles away from us. 

Letting your children go, I am finding out, is such a beautiful, brutal thing - as Glennon Doyle says - brutiful. As mothers, we pour almost all of who we are into our children only for them to take flight and leave. When they go, they remove not only themselves, but they take a piece of us with them too. 

This duality of both this extreme excitement and happiness for our children while also feeling sadness and a bit of grief is a bit hard for me to reconcile. I imagine that in time I will learn how to live with these conflicting emotions, but for now I am just trying to face one day at a time missing my boy while simultaneously being so very happy for him. 



A backside view of Josh slightly bending over in his room in front of his black cubbies grabbing an unknown item to pack. He is wearing a gray t-shirt and gray shorts with no socks or footwear. His bed in unmade and there is a laundry basket of his personal items on the floor. His dresser shows a pair of white sneakers, his tv, and a seltzer water can. His light is on and his window blinds are closed.
Packing up his room.



In the garage, dad is helping Josh pack up his things. Dad is wearing his slippers and a red Mount Hood t-shirt and unknown shorts. Josh is still wearing his gray t-shirt and shorts, but he now has slippers on. Josh's blue Toyota Carola is pulled into the garage and the drivers side back door is open. All of Josh's belongings from his room are now in the garage on the right-hand side waiting to be placed in his car.
Packing up his car

(From left to right) Josh, You, Elizabeth, and Andy arms around each other standing in the garage right before Josh leaves. Josh's headlights are on and his car is running. The garage door is open. Josh is still wearing his gray on gray outfit, but has added a red baseball cap. You are wearing your purple brave t-shirt and a pair of black booty shorts. Elizabeth is wearing a gray t-shirt also with booty shorts on. Your hair is pulled back and hers is down. Andy is wearing a pair of jeans and a gray work t-shirt.
My loves 

From left to right - Josh, wearing his gray attire with red hat, and me, wearing a pink sleeveless shirt and a pair of jean shorts. I have part of my hair (which is still wet from my morning shower) piled on top of my head with a clip. The rest of my hair is down on my back/shoulders. We are standing in the garage by Josh's car.
Me and my boy

From left to right: Dad, Josh, Me arm in arm standing by his car taking a pic.
Proud parents

Josh and Dad, arm in arm, in the garage

Josh (on the left) Andy on the right, arms around each other smiling for the camera in the garage by Josh's car.
My boys

Josh pulling out of our driveway. Andy's white chevy bolt is parked in front of the house and my gray honda pilot is parked in the driveway. The sky is blue and sunny.
And he's off!

Josh turning left onto Garrison Grove. His windows are partially down as he drives away.

A close up of Hairwinks face as we rest on a bench inside one of the buildings at uncg while looking for your classrooms. Her harness is on, but the stick thing is off and she is cutely looking to the left.

You getting Hairwinks ready to work again after our break on the bench. You are leaning over and attaching the stick thing to her vest. She is standing perpendicular to you up close. You are wearing the same outfit from this morning.



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