Wednesday, June 19, 2019

Sarah's List

A few weeks ago I found an unexpected email in my inbox from Sarah. She had stayed up late the night before and wrote out the following: (All content shared has been approved by Sarah to be posted.)


This is my list of things that I am going to do when I can see again.

  1. Cry, dance, and laugh in pure joy
  2. See my beloved siblings all grown up
  3. Look at myself
  4. See mom and dad middle aged
  5. See pictures of Sammy and Lily and the girls
  6. See pictures of the places we’ve adventured to
  7. Remember how to write
  8. Look at the amazing, wonderful, different colors
  9. Look at words again
  10. Read my books
  11. Have Josh remind me how to play soccer
  12. Look at the sunrise/sunset
  13. Look at pictures of baby Moose
  14. Cry some more
  15. Throw away the jealousy that I have for Elizabeth and be A good sister
  16. Have Andy teach me how to play his favorite video game then beat him at it
  17. Go to Skyview and see the place that gave me the confidence I needed and see my little horse
  18. Draw, color, and paint
  19. Walk without a Kane
  20. Run without help
  21. Look at Braille
  22. Paint my nails
  23. Pick out my own outfits and style
  24. See Oreo again, my companion who was with me throughout this journey
  25. Give back
  26. Watch movies
  27. Look and stare and watch and see, see, see
  28. Never have somebody describe anything again
  29. Make eye contact
  30. Laugh, cry, see, dance, love without resentment, and be happy

I asked Sarah why she wanted me to print this list since she obviously cannot see it. She told me that she was doing so as an act of rebellion towards her disease. Printing this list out was her way of telling this disease that despite its desire to do otherwise that she was determined to some day see again. This list is now tacked up on the wall in her bedroom.

This list made me cry when I read it as it shows just how much she misses her "old life" - the one with sight. I cannot imagine how hard her life is and how much she struggles emotionally with her disease. I can only feel its effects as being the mother of a child who struggles.

1 comment:

  1. We need to find a cure..
    We need more prayer..
    We need to love on this child extra so she feels our love deep in her bones...
    We need her to know and believe how truly thankful we are to know her as she is RIGHT NOW...
    We need her to know she is a blessing to us just because she is Sarah...

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