Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Will I Walk My Talk?

It seems that every day Bob comes home with more news about what our future might look like. We don't have anything concrete to share and I don't imagine that we will for a couple of months, but it is inevitable that there will be news sooner rather than later of our next move.

This next promotion will be a big one for us financially. We live comfortably now. We can pay our bills, afford a luxurious food budget, travel back and forth to Ohio a couple of times a year, and pay our out of pocket maximum on our health insurance each year, and manage to put a little bit away in savings. We are not able to do anything extravagant, but we are able to live a nice life.

This next move will allow us to go from living comfortably to living well. And I terrified of that.

What happens to most people who live well in our society? They tend to remove themselves from main stream life and buy large homes in gated communities and fancy cars. They join country clubs so that they can socialize with other "elite" members of society. They start to believe that they are better than others. They start to then act on those beliefs. For people who worked their way up the financial food chain they forget where they came from.

And if I am being completely honest with myself there is a part of me that wants to live that kind of life. After all, don't we all want to buy big homes and fancy cars that tell the world we have "made it" in life? Don't we want to "show" people how powerful we are by the unused square footage in our houses?

A part of me does. There is a part of me that wants to be able to shmooze with the country club folks in my designer clothes with my designer handbags and my designer makeup. I want to be able to have a HUGE house in a gated community where a security guard waves to me from his little station and says, "Hello, Mrs. Gregg"as I drive home from the mall with a car load of newly purchased items.  I want to drive a luxury car. I want only the finest fanciest clothes and accessories for my children. I want the best vacations for just my family to experience. I want the world to look at me and my family and to think, "Man, they must be successful. They must have some money." just by our outward appearances and possessions. Because after all that's what this life is about, right?! Consumption and materialism! Bigger, better, fancier!  

  As a Christian Jesus would be disgusted with me if I chose to live my life this way. And I am thankful that the pull of wanting to be like Jesus is so strong in my heart that it will help me to choose a different path for our family. Instead, I will not join a country club and I will not buy a big house in gated community. I will not drive a fancy car. I will not insulate myself from my fellow man and allow myself to think I am above any human being in any shape or form.  Our family will live below our means this next time around so that we can share what we have with others. That is what will bring me true joy. That is how Jesus would choose.  We will live in a smaller home than we have now. We will share vacations with loved ones. We will not drive fancy cars.

I cannot take any of my material possessions with me in the afterlife. So, what good is it to have those things if it will prevent me from being able to help make other's burdens lighter? What good is having money if all it does is isolate me from the real world? Wealth is an illusion of happiness that we are sold by everyone who runs a company and wants to make money off of us. Real happiness, to me, is sharing what Bob and I have worked for, but also have been lucky to receive. At the end of my life, I want to be able to look back on it and be proud of what I have done with the time given to me.  Sitting in a huge house and driving a fancy car and living in a gated community and socializing with fancy country club people won't make me proud. It will embarrass me and make me feel ashamed that what God gave to Bob and I we plundered on selfish materialistic things.  What will make me proud will be to know that I was able to help those in need, both those I know and those I don't know. That Bob and I were able to ease others burdens and create joy in their lives.

The time will soon be upon us where I will challenged to walk my talk. I pray to the God above that I am strong enough to resist the temptations that having wealth presents, but that my heart knows are truly just illusions to happiness, and that I may live a life that I know may not look as grand, but will make me all the more proud of to have lived.

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