Yesterday morning I left a place I love dearly in order to travel to another place I hope to someday soon love just as dearly. It is at times surreal this journey our family is on. It is an odd sensation feeling so sad about the life you are leaving behind while simultaneously being so excited about the life ahead of you.
Our house is on the market now. (Finally!) I saw the real estate listing today. As I have said previously I am excited for the new owners. I have only been gone from that home for a little under 48 hours and I do not mourn for it. I miss the backyard and my neighborhood, but not the house.
I am sitting here in a hotel just outside of Salt Lake City, Utah. I have a moment alone as Bob took the girls to the pool and the boys are walking the dogs. It is raining here, and I cannot help but wonder if this is what the weather in Portland will be like. I am not used to the rain and I am nervous about whether I am going to be able to like it. I hated the cloudiness in Ohio. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about living in a city known for its abundant rain.
Yesterday we drove from Las Cruces to Durango, CO. We spent the night in Durango and I fell in love with the vibrant eclectic shops and vibe the town offered. I found myself thinking that I could definitely live there at some point which then led me to believe that I am going to say that in just about every place I travel. We got to our hotel in the early afternoon and the kids swam in the pool while the dogs and I watched from the pool deck. The mountains were so green and there was grass (REAL grass!!!) that was so soft and thick I thought I was in a dream. I have missed grass so much. What a treat to bury my toes in the soft thickness only grass can offer.
Today we drove from Durango to a town called Layton, Utah. I don't like it here. The hotel is smelly. The people feel seedy. The town looks dirty. I cannot wait to leave here tomorrow morning. I asked Bob for some alone time and so he generously has taken my girls to the pool while the boys are walking Sam and Lily. I didn't pack Andy's laptop which is how I have been able to communicate via Facebook and my blog these past few days. This quiet time alone is glorious. It feels like it has been forever since I have been able to relax by myself without a huge to do list running through my brain.
Even though this town is ew, the rest of what I have seen of Utah is beautiful. We went to Arches National Park this morning. I'll have tons of pictures to show you when my actual desktop arrives in Portland which should be at the end of next week sometime. (I don't want to download my pics onto Andy's computer. I would rather just do it on mine where the rest of my pictures are stored.) That was really cool and I am glad we went there. Provo, UT has probably been the most beautiful town/city I have seen in a long time. The mountains are just gorgeous and are still snow capped. The natural landscape there is amazing. Salt Lake City was smaller than I imagined it to be, and didn't impress me as much as Provo. Plus, I kept thinking about those Mormon sects that trap their women and force them into young marriages and polygamy. (Nice. I know.)
Tomorrow we will head to Boise, ID. We will spend the day there and then (finally!) on Monday we will make the last leg of this trip and get to Portland. The kids and I are excited to see the townhome we have rented. Bob is freaking out about its size. (We are downsizing from 3154 square feet to 1550 square feet.) I am excited about its size. I know there will be an adjustment period especially for the kids, but I am sooooo ready for a smaller home.
Leaving my home feels different this time than it did when we moved from Ohio to New Mexico. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that our leaving Ohio had a bigger negative impact on more people than our leaving New Mexico did. Sure - we made friendships in NM and will be missed - I do not doubt that one bit, but I know that life will go on for those whom we are leaving behind. They all had full lives before we entered the picture and they will continue to have full lives now that we are gone. When we left Ohio we really left a whole in some people's lives that could not be replaced by anyone else. I felt a lot of guilt over leaving Ohio, and I don't feel that way about leaving New Mexico. I am sad, but I don't feel guilty. It is nice to not carry that weight this time around.
I am glad that we drove this trip instead of flying. This country is freaking beautiful. Seriously. If you ever have the chance to take a road trip in this country (or any for that matter) do it! I am constantly blown away by how beautiful and vast and expansive this country is. I am so excited to see where our travels take us to in the future because I.love.traveling. Nothing makes me happier than being with my kids and husband traipsing across this country. (Well, being with my grandpa is actually right up there. I guess I have two things that make me incredibly happy.) There have been so many moments these past few months between what I have seen in New Mexico, and what I have seen while traveling to the Grand Canyon, and what I have seen while driving back to Ohio from New Mexico, where I just wanted to show every person living in this country the beauty that I have witnessed. Where I wish I could just transport each person to a specific spot in this country and show them how freaking gorgeous this amazing land is. So many times lately I have asked God why he doesn't show everyone the beauty he has shown me. Why is it that he deems me worthy to see the beauty he created, but he doesn't show others his masterpieces? Whatever his reasons I am not going to argue with him over them. I am just grateful that he has chosen me and my family to view this unforgettable life changing landscape.
Well, I guess I am a bit of a chatterbox today. Sorry. I am just super excited about this journey. I have always said that life is good in Las Cruces. And it was. And it is. But you know what? I am beginning to think that life is just good. And no matter where I am as long as I have my family beside me life will always be good.
Until next time....
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