There's No One I'd Rather

Tomorrow Bob and I will celebrate our wedding anniversary. Our 15th one to be exact.

It's funny because I can remember my parents 15th wedding anniversary and thinking about how that was a really long time to be married and here I am on the cusp of celebrating that same milestone.

Here's the thing: marriage is really, really freaking hard. And in some ways the longer you are married the harder it can get because long gone are those lovey dovey eyes you once had for your spouse. Long gone are those days when those idiosyncrasies that your spouse has, the ones that you once found cute, are still cute. Now those idiosyncrasies make you want to rip your eyeballs out. And some days you consider it a victory that your spouse is still alive. Seriously.

 No, I don't still have that new love for my husband - the one where everything he says makes me swoon and where I think the whole world revolves around us and our love - but what I have instead is something much more valuable to me.  I have the kind of love for him that comes with knowing that this will be the man that I will be with until death do us part. (Even if I have to speed up the death part because he has driven me crazy one day. Just kidding, kinda.) I have the kind of love for my husband that comes with sharing a history with someone year in and year out. I have the kind of love that comes only with time. One that is bound by commitment. For better or worse. Till death do us part. And with passing year those vows become even more sacred because we know what took to make it through that year. Some years are easier than others. That is what happens when you are in it for the long haul.

We have been through some really, really tough times. But there is no one I'd rather have gone through those tough times with. There is no one that I would rather have held me in his arms than my husband when life was at its toughest. There is no one who could have told me that everything would be okay - no one I would have believed - except for my husband.

We have had some great times together too. Just so much fun. Laughing and sharing and creating a lifetime of memories. When it is just he and I, alone in our world, life stands still. It is just us.

We are team who has built a family together. We have these four amazing children who are all unique individuals in their own right, but also a reflection of not only each of us, but of the union that we have built the foundation of our family on.

We live in our own little world sometimes, he and I, raising our family and building a life of adventure and experience, but there is no better partner in crime for me. When I think about it - we have always lived in our own little world. From the very beginning it was just he and I ready take on the world. In the beginning, there was no one I'd rather spend every minute with than him. Even today, if I had to pick just one person that I got to be with on a deserted island I would pick my husband. Hands down. Without a question or second thought.

We talk of the future with promise and hope. We talk of our children leaving home in the next 8 years and all of the things we will do together. All of the fun we will have. We became parents pretty young and didn't have much adult time in our 20's and 30's, but come 45ish the world will be ours to grab by its horns and make the most of it. Just he and I. There won't be any empty nest syndome because there won't be an empty nest. We will both still be there.  There is no one I'd rather share that adventure with. We will be traveling the country and the world. We will own a tiny house and an RV with which to visit all of our loved one. We will be driving each other crazy and I will be ready to kill him at certain points in our rendezvous, but we will be together. There's no one else I'd rather be with.

I'm not much for mushy stuff. In fact, a conversation that happened in our house tonight was me asking him if we were doing the card thing this year for our anniversary because if so I had to run out to Target tonight to grab one. His response was basically that he didn't want me to get him a card just to get him one, but that he did get me one this year. (Damn it! So, guess who is gonna have to eat crow tomorrow? This broad.)

 I hope this post is better than any card that I could have gotten for him. Thank goodness that we have been married a good bit so that he knows me well enough to not have his feelings get hurt when he has no card to open in the morning.

I don't know a lot about life yet, but I can say after 15 years married and 19 years being together I would still have picked the man I call my husband all over again. All of the hard stuff is worth it because it makes all of the good stuff that much sweeter. There is no one in this whole wide world I'd rather live my life with and create my memories with than my husband. And at the end of my life, there is no one I'd rather look back and see as the one constant who helped make my life what it was than my husband.

Happy 15th Anniversary, Bobby. Here's to 15 more. (If I don't kill you first.)