I need to revamp my healthy habits because I am stinking at making positive choices right now. I will be back next week with some realistic goals for myself other than "lose a ton of weight".
I wish being fat weren't so easy for me. I wish that I did not have a husband that adored me always no matter what shape I am in. (Although, I think that a skinny wife would appeal to him even more than a fat one. And I take that back - I am glad that my husband loves me no matter what.) I also wish that I had the magical skinny gene that my husband has that allows him to stuff whatever he wants into his mouth and not gain a single pound.
This whole losing weight thing is really, really, really hard for me right now. How in God's name did I lose 30+ lbs almost 2 years ago? I have no freaking idea.
You would think that I would be motivated to be skinny. I think that if I lost a good amount of weight I would actually stand a chance of getting pregnant again. (Which by the way - I had a dream last night that I was holding my fifth child in my arms - a boy. I saw what he looked like and everything. It was amazing.) Being skinny feels better than being fat. It looks a hell of a lot better too. I could go on and on of all the benefits of not being fat, but we all know what they are.
I just cannot seem to get it together. Why am I not motivated!!!!???? BLAH!!!!!!!
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