What I Believe

I have been wanting to write this post for the past few weeks, but have avoided doing so because I just didn't want to deal with some of the comments that may come along with it. I am not one to face controversy head on. I would rather have my opinions and keep them to myself or share them with those absolutely closest to me. I don't mind discussing my opinion with those who dissent. In fact, I have a learned a lot about things by doing so.

I don't want to only associate with those who are like me. I want to be friends with  people who are of different races, religions. political affiliations. I want to be friends with people who share different parenting beliefs, different beliefs on education, different sexual preferences.

I want as much diversity in my life as I can possibly get.

And yet...

I see people I love from all different walks of life unassociating with others because they don't believe the same way in some issues (or in very rare cases all issues). I am seeing more and more people only wanting to be friendly with those believe exactly as they do. I am seeing people on Facebook be vicious with one another. And here's the thing - it isn't just one side doing it. It's both sides of an issue - each claims that he/she is right and the other side are inhuman bastards, but neither side can see that he has more alike with her than he realizes. Neither side can see that her hatred of the other side of the opinion is exactly what brings him together with her.

This separation bothers me. The divide hurts me.

I once read a book by Brene Brown - I don't remember the title - but it talked about 'leaning in' to people. Basically, what I took away from this was that if you try to get to know someone you will find that you have a lot more in common with that person than you think. And it's true. When you try to find common ground with people you will see that there is always at least one thing that can bring you together. We come from different backgrounds and have different stories to tell, but I bet that if you put a bunch strangers in a room together they could find things in common that would bring them together in a way that their differences weren't such an issue.

Anyway...I wanted to put my beliefs out there so that if you feel the need to 'unfriend' me on Facebook or stop talking to me in real life you may do so. I would hope that because I know almost all of my friends on Facebook that the whole of me would make up for any pieces of me you don't agree with, but maybe not. I would like you to know exactly where I stand, so that you can make an educated decision about continuing on with either our friendships or aquaintanceships.

Please keep in mind, that at this point in my life there are no single issues that would make me feel the same way about you. You are more than just one belief. I honor the whole of you, not just one piece.

I have tried to think of all of the hot button issues to discuss below. Also, (and this is the most important part of this whole post) if you feel differently on any of these issues (and I know that just about everyone will because I have both Republican belief and Democratic beliefs - I also have some different beliefs on religion) please know that I respect your beliefs and I honor the right that you have to think differently than I do. 

Without further ado - here we go:

What I Believe

1.) I am Pro-Life** / Anti-Death Penalty

I believe that all life is sacred.

 I believe that life begins at conception. I believe that when two people choose to have sex they are also choosing the risk of pregnancy - no matter how many precautions they take - and that every choice we make comes with consequences. If we aren't willing to accept all of the consequences then we shouldn't be partaking in sex.

I believe that even in the cases of rape that life is sacred and should be carried to term. 

I believe that pregnancy should be carried to term even when defects are found. 

I do not believe in the death penalty. I believe that those who have committed heinous crimes should be committed to life in prison without the possibility of parole. In my mind, that is punishment enough. 

I have tried to imagine the worst situations involving my own children to see if I would change my mind on this stance - and the answer is no, I would not. I believe that only God should take a life. 

2.) I support the 2nd Amendment 

I believe that a person has the right to bear arms, but I think that the type of guns we have the right to bear should be greatly restricted. 

3.) I believe that ALL people should have the right to get married/ have families

Man and woman, man and man, woman and woman, etc...every single person on this earth should have the right to enter into a marriage contract. Every person should have equal access to health benefits and parental rights to their children - biological or not.

4.) I believe in Black Lives Matter - NOT All Lives Matter

To imply that all lives matter means that all colors of people are being persecuted. This is simply not true. White people, in this country in particular, are the persecutors not the persecuted. 

5.) I believe that white privilege exists

I believe that the color of my skin has given me unfair advantages in this life that exist solely because I am white. I believe that the color of my husband's and sons' skin has/will give them privileges that they did not earn. This fact is unfair and unjust and I am trying my best to open my owns eyes to this travesty and also my children's eyes.

6.) I believe that the Bible is twisted on a regular basis. 

The bible says many, many things. It can be taken literally or figuratively. I have seen it quoted to support every agenda known to man. The Bible is quoted as a reason to do many evil things in the name of God. 

7.) I believe that Love is the most important message in the Bible.

 Jesus spoke of love an awful lot. Next to honoring God, the second most important thing God says to do is to love on another - your neighbor, your enemy - everyone. I believe that if we loved as much as we judged we would be in a much different place in this country and this world. 

8.) I believe the Christian, Jew, Muslim God are all the same

We fight wars over our religious beliefs, and yet I believe when we get to heaven we are going to all be welcomed into the arms of the same God. 

9.) I believe that families should not be separated at the border. 

There should be consequences for people trying to get into this country illegally, but separating children from their parents should not be one of those consequences. Punishing children for their parents transgressions is inhuman and awful of us. 

10.) I believe that if the government were serious about fighting illegal immigration they would heavily fine the companies that routinely hire illegal immigrants.

Immigrants come to this country (both legal and illegal) to seek a better life for themselves. How do you do this? You find a safe(r) place to live and you find a way to support yourself.  There are several industries that hire illegal immigrants - meat packers, slaughterhouses, migrant vegetable/fruit pickers, hotels. It's funny that no one talks about these industries when talking about illegal immigration. If these companies were fined heavily enough to take a hit on their profits they would no longer hire illegal immigrants and the United States would no longer look as promising as a way to build a better life. 

11.) I believe that our privilege makes us blind to the plight of others. 

We live in a country of opportunity (for some of us). We live in a country of wealth. Even the poorest among us lives infinitely better than the poorest of other nations. Our country is not at armed war with itself. Our children can sleep safe at night, and not have to worry about being raped by soldiers. I can walk out into a public place and have dissenting opinions about the government and not have to risk being imprisoned and tortured indefinitely. As Americans, we live cushy lives compared with other countries. And this makes us numb to the plight of others. Because we cannot know what it is like to live in a home that could be bombed at any moment, or to live on a neighborhood where going to the grocery store could get us shot because we crossed into a drug cartels turf - we turn a blind eye and harden our hearts to those that do. We say things like, "follow our laws", to get into our country when we know full well the red tape and bureaucracy these people are facing.  Instead of lending a hand - we turn away. I wonder how we would feel if the situation were reversed and we were the ones in desperate need? 

**I just wanted to say something additional about the abortion thing. I have known several people who have had abortions for various reasons. For almost all of these women making the decision to have an abortion was the most gut wrenching decision they have ever made.  And although I wish that these women would have made different decisions, I respect the hell out of these women because they made the best decision that they could have with the information that they had in front of them. I will never look down on these women, will never belittle them, and will never shame them for their choices. I do not walk in their shoes, and therefore it is not my right to make their decisions for them. I will not judge them for their choices.**