Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Coming Full Circle

Friends of our received some devastating news about their child. The kind of news that makes Sarah's issues seem like a walk in the park right now. My heart hurts for them in ways that I did not think was possible. I just want to hug them and cry with them and tell them how sorry I am for what they are going through now and will have to go through in the future.

And now I know. I know what our community of friends and family have felt like these last 11 months watching us go through everything we have with Sarah. I know how much they must have hurt. How much they must have wanted to do something, anything to help heal our pain, if only for a moment. How, if we would have let them, they would have shouldered our burden too and taken some of the load off of us so that we didn't have to feel like we were carrying something so heavy all by ourselves.

I see both sides now, both the receiver of terrible news and the bystander of loved ones receiving terrible news, and I didn't see it before. I couldn't see it before. It took something so terrible to happen to people that I love - unexpected medical news regarding their child - something that I could relate to in a way that most other people cannot - that showed me the other side. I have come full circle.

How I wish that I could make things better for them. How I wish that my loving them was going to be enough to carry them through the dark times they will have to somehow get through. How all of our love - their friends and collective families - could just be enough that it could  make any and all of their hurt disappear. How I wish that somehow they could just wake up from their sleep (or lack thereof) tomorrow morning, and have the last few days of their lives be nothing more than a bad dream.

I know that everyone grieves differently. Some people (like me) want to hide in their own little world and cocoon themselves away from everything and everyone to take care of their own immediate family. Some people want to live like nothing has happened because processing such life altering news is too much. Still others want to talk to everyone and anyone about their life situation because talking about it makes them feel better. I don't know how my friends will grieve and get through this hard time.

What I do know, is that they have been amazing to me and Bob and to all of our children these last 11 months. They knew when to call and they knew when to back off. They found the perfect gifts for our family and sent them without telling us they were coming. They took the time to figure out what type of grievers we are, and they followed our lead. They offered their support and their love in the most perfect way. I only hope that I can do the same for them.

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