I knew it was coming...I could feel the emotions building up until finally this morning I had just had it. I explained to my entire family that I expected chores to be done and school work to be completed. I let them know that their dad was a fully capable human being (something he is prone to telling me more than I would like to admit it), and could answer any of their homework questions. Then I left the house. I treated myself to lunch at Panera Bread, ran an errand, and then just wandered aimlessly through the aisles of a local bookstore for 2 hours. I needed a break. Big time.
I spend so much of my time doing and being everything for everyone else that I do not take anytime for myself. Most evenings lately I fall into bed completely exhausted, but unable to sleep due the unending list of things to think about. I get up in the morning only to begin the day taking care of everyone's needs all over again. Don't get me wrong, taking care of my family is the greatest honor and privilege that I will ever have on this earth, but I need a break too.
So, when I came home from my outing today I let my family know that once a week I will be leaving for the morning. Each and every week they will be on their own to fend for themselves (with Bob's help), and will have to get things done without me. I deserve it. Every mom does.
It was so nice to spend as much time as I wanted - guilt free - walking down each and every aisle of the book store. Besides nature, bookstores are one of my most favorite places to be. There are so many endless possibilities and ideas just sitting on the shelves that I find it breathtaking.
I felt so restored when I walked out of that bookstore. It was amazing. When I walked back into my house chores had been done and children were doing school work. All of the people that make up our family were humming along nicely. It was good for them to see that they could make it without me for a while. It was good for me too.
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