Whenever I feel that changes need to be made I always turn to books: parenting book, homemaking books, housekeeping books, homeschooling books. I pick a variety of authors (a lot of the time they are authors that I have read before and their books resonate a truth I know to be mine within me) and I read and read. I take notes when I feel the book has something that I want to incorporate and then once I feel satisfied with that information I have gleamed from these books I present them to my family or I just begin implementing them if it is something that pertains solely to me.
I have always found this method to be comforting when I feel that things have gone astray or off track in our home. I always feel inspired that I can right our course to the one that I know is authentic to our family. It has been a while since I have delved into my books like this, but it is definitely time. One of the books that I am reading is called Hands Free Mama. I have read this book before, but felt that I needed to come back to it. I am glad I did so. As I was skimming through the book last night trying to remember what I had read before I came across the poem below by the author of the book. This poem hit me like a wave. Maybe it will touch you too...
Today I Lived and You Did Too
Today I was awakened by the sound of shuffling feet.
It was my early-bird riser in her big sister’s pajamas that drug across the floor.
I wanted to pull the covers over my head and feign sleep.
But instead I got up and made toaster waffles that she said tasted “divine.”
She kissed me with syrupy sweet lips.
Getting up wasn’t my first response. But I did it.
Today I lived.
Today she lost her shoes for the 37th time in two weeks.
It was right before we needed to head out the door.
I wanted to scream, to scold, to throw my hands in the air.
But instead I held her. I held her. My shoeless girl.
Together we found them wet with dew in the backyard and she whispered, “Sorry, I am forgetful, Mama.”
Being calm wasn’t my first response. But I did it.
Today I lived.
Today the birds chirped noisily through the open back door.
Their cheerful chatter seemed to accentuate the deadlines, the laundry, the mess piled up around me.
I wanted to slam the door and silence the temptation; there was so much to do.
But instead I put on my running shoes and my favorite hat.
With each step, I got closer to what mattered and farther from what didn’t.
Letting go wasn’t my first response. But I did it.
Today I lived.
Today I stood in front of the mirror sizing myself up.
It was apparent that stress and lack of sleep had left their mark.
I wanted to dissect each wrinkle, pinch each layer of soft skin
But instead I looked away and said, “Not today. Only love today.”
Loving myself wasn’t my first response. But I did it.
Today I lived.
Today I threw together a simple dinner and scooped it onto the plate.
It looked pathetic and unappealing.
I wanted to question my worthiness based on my cooking skills.
But instead I hollered, “Let’s eat outside on the porch! Everything tastes better outside.”
Offering myself grace wasn’t my first response. But I did it.
Today I lived.
Today I was on a mission to tuck my child into bed as quickly as possible.
It had been a tiring day, and I just wanted to be alone.
She asked if she could listen to my heartbeat.
Reluctantly, I lay down beside her and she drew her head to my chest.
“We have the same heartbeat,” she announced.
“How do you know?” I asked expecting some child-like reasoning, but instead her poignant response brought me to my knees.
“Because you are my mom.”
And there it was. My confirmation.
To choose to stay when I want to retreat.
To choose to forgive when I want to condemn.
To choose to love when I want to attack.
To choose to hope when I want to doubt.
To choose to stand when I want to fall.
Today I lived.
It wasn’t my first response.
But I share the same heartbeat with two precious souls.
And that’s enough to get me through the day.
I will choose to live again tomorrow
(Poem courtesy of: handfreemama.com)
I've just started re-reading this book, too. I bought my own copy so I can read through it at a slower pace. I'm trying to read it somewhat slowly, so I have time to implement some changes as I read (whereas if I just read it straight through I am unlikely to end up with very many lasting changes).
ReplyDeleteIt would be interesting to share notes on what changes we are making, if that sounds good to you.
Absolutely. I got much more out of it the second time I read it than the first.
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