Having An Elizabeth

I have an Elizabeth. Which means that I have a child who is completely and utterly unlike her siblings. A child who is strong willed and does things that none of the other kids have done EVER. Who continues to exasperate me at every turn and never ceases to amaze me by the things that she considers in her brain to be good ideas.

Having an Elizabeth means that more often than not I am ready to throw in the towel and declare myself an unfit parent. I often find myself thinking that if I was truly a fit parent I would not have to be dealing with the issues that having an Elizabeth brings.

Having an Elizabeth means that every year around her birthday I find myself saying, "Next year she will outgrow some of her really bad traits. Next year". Except that next year comes and she hasn't outgrown anything. She has just gotten older, and what she could once get away with in the company of strangers because she was little she can no longer get away with. People now look at her and wonder why on God's green earth she said or did such a thing - heck, I look at her and often wonder the same thing!

Out of all of my children, Elizabeth is the one who gets yelled at the most. Elizabeth is the one who I find myself gritting my teeth and being mortified at what I just said to her in my moment of anger. Oh, Elizabeth, Elizabeth, Elizabeth....That child can take the wind out of my sails quicker than anyone else I know.

Truth be told, I have no idea how to parent Elizabeth. Not one clue. She is 7 years old now, and I have no idea what I am doing with her. Like ever.  I just don't get her, and as her parent I need to. It is my duty to her to know her and understand her and cultivate her and help her grow. Except that sometimes I don't want to. Sometimes I just want to run in the opposite direction as her. The energy that she requires is more than the sum of energy that I need to raise her other three siblings combined.

She is too smart for her own good. She is hyper and I have no idea how to harness that energy. She gets bored easily and then tries to entertain herself and ends up in a whole heap of trouble because her idea of entertaining herself gives me gray hair and inevitably causes me to scream. Oh, and I chose to home school her. WHAT WAS I THINKING???!!!!!

Just typing this post tires me out because of how much energy she consumes in my mind. I need to find a better way to parent her. I just have no idea how or where to start. No idea, but I need to find a way to make parenting her easier. It shouldn't be this difficult....