Being Gay

I don't think being gay is a choice. I also don't think that God condemns people who are are gay. I think that he loves them just like he loves me. (If he even exists.) It makes me angry when people use God as a reason to not  like people who are gay. To think that one is "going to Hell" just because of who he/she loves.  I think it makes God angry too.

When I talk to my children about the future I don't say to them, "When you get married to a boy/girl (depending on whom I am talking to) when you are older..." because I think that it sets my kids up to think that if they are indeed gay that I would be less accepting of them than if they were straight. Instead, I tell my kids, "When you get older, if you choose to get married to a person...". This way they know that marriage is a choice and I am not predetermining the sex of the person I think they should be with.

If God does indeed look down upon those who are gay, shouldn't he be the judge of that when those individuals die? Why is it okay for us, mere mortals, to judge and say what God would do or how God thinks about certain people? Isn't passing this kind of judgement upon other people the exact opposite of the Golden Rule? If you can judge someone based on a "choice" one makes, then what does that open you up to be persecuted for?  What "choices" do you make that makes you less than perfect in God's eyes? I am sure there is something there because no one is perfect. Why is it okay for me to think I am a better imperfect person than you, and that my sins will require me to atone for less because I love a man instead of a woman?  The fact of the matter is, I am no better than my neighbor who is gay, and I am no worse either. I am an imperfect person equally as imperfect as my neighbor.

I am sure that these conversations I have with my kids make some people just as irate at me and the way that I am raising my children as I get irate with them when they spout off anti-gay language and I know that their children are also receiving that message too.

I thought about sitting on the sidelines on this one, and not even discussing the issue on my blog because this like abortion, or religion, or any other hot topics is very polarizing, and I would hate for someone to not read my blog any more because of my belief on this topic. But then I got to thinking about it today after coming across some clearly anti gay rhetoric, and I thought how sad I would be if my children knew that I didn't do something or speak my mind about something that I believe in just because I was afraid of what other people might think or do or say. That my children would be disappointed in me because I didn't stay true to who I am in the face of adversity as I ask them so often to do.  So, that is why this is the post you get today.

I write this blog for me, but I write it more for my children. They are the ones who matter most. Someday, I would like them to be able to review my life as someone other than their mother, and I would like them to be proud of who they see. This is one of the only ways I know how to do that - to live honestly and openly warts and all.

Andy, Josh, Sarah, and Elizabeth - if you come to me one day to tell me that you are gay please do not be afraid. For I love you, no matter who you love. The only thing that I will ever ask of you is to be true to who you are, no matter how different that may be from everyone else. I will always be in your corner, and you will never be alone in this world. I love you all more than you will ever know.